Sunday, August 21, 2011

Hard Questions

I did some driving this week and do you know what happens when I drive? Well my mind and my heart meet in the middle and the rolling hills of Missouri and the beautiful skies just provoke so many things in my mind. I become consumed with blog topics and subjects that I want to write about and share with you. Then I arrive home, unwind, and settle in and completely lose the passion and emotion to the feelings and ideas that had consumed me for the two hour car ride. 

Brandon and I have a unique relationship, in a good way. He is a professional athlete. I am a college grade with a degree in business marketing. I have chosen to shelf that degree while I nanny two children instead. When we marry in November we will move in together and from that point on we will always live together. Where that is we won't know until maybe a few days before. What about me? What will I do? Will I stay at our home in Alabama while he goes to spring training? Will I move with him during the season? Where will we live? Where will I work? What about my career and my dreams?  

Those are the questions that friends and family bring to my attention. Now it gets difficult hearing those questions as if I haven't already pondered and maybe stressed over all of them multiple times. I finally think I can answer the question with one hundred percent confidence.

I know that I was made for Brandon. I was made to be there for him to help, listen, pray for, please, prepare, respect, honor, and to love him unconditionally. I'm ready for that. I accepted the ring and agreed to marry him and agreed to all those things. In addition, we agreed to put God at the center of our relationship. He is the foundation of what we are going to be committing to in a few short weeks.

So when I get asked those questions about me and what I will do, I have an answer. You may not like it. You may not agree, but I have an answer. I have chosen to submit to my future husband. Because of this decision, God will reveal and bless me with my own needs and give me dreams that I can follow while still doing what he created me to do. I truly believe leaving my job here, and possibly passing on job opportunities that arise so that Brandon and I can be together he will bless me with so much more down the road that is bigger and better. I'll take my eyes off myself and put them on God and the rest will take care of itself. It makes me excited and eager, but I will be patient because those blessings come in His time not mine but I know they will.

As humans we are naturally selfish. We can't change that. However we can ask God to change our hearts and He will. This is obviously a way easier thing to say, talk, and write about than act on but with enough prayers it can be done and I hope I am the one doing it. 

1 comment:

  1. Such a beautiful post! I have the passion for writing while driving too...then I get home and Life distracts me so most of my fabulous inspiration never gets spilled onto the screen....I love your plans for letting God handle your future. We can never do as good of a job as He can so it just makes sense to step outta His way and let Him amaze us :)
    Sorry to hear you wont be posting as much but totally understandable. It's always a juggle to find the time for all the things we'd like to do or complete for sure.
    {tara} from Undeserving Grace