Hey guess what... we've moved again/are still moving/never stop moving. I don't really know how to describe it so I'm going to do my best.
I left you yesterday telling you I was going to New York until Monday. It's Thursday night. I've already been to New York and I am back at my parents house in Missouri. My husband on the other hand never made it to New York, is in Memphis, and leaves for another long road trip Friday.
The thing with our life is that it is on a day-to-day basis. We thought that we had at least until mid June until we would be rejoining the Memphis team. We thought wrong. Brandon was temporary filling in for a teammate that was on the disabled list and we assumed we had more time.
It's hard to explain how baseball life works sometimes but I'll keep going...
I arrived in New York yesterday afternoon and got checked into the hotel. When the ladies travel they are usually allowed to check in on arrival. Sometimes the guys don't get in until the early morning and they accommodate for the wives/girlfriends. The hotel was one block from Times Square - I promise I'll write some happy posts with touristy photos soon. I walked around with one of the other girls that had been to NY before. Then we headed back to the hotel to rest up and just do whatever. I got hungry around 9:30 and was nervous to go walk around in the big city alone, but me being the huge rebel I am decided to go.
My husband finally called me and I was so excited to hear from him. Our conversation went something like this:
L: Oh my gosh -- you are not going to believe how big it is! I have been wanting to text you pictures since I got here but I know you'll be here in about two hours so I'll just let you see it in person. You're going to drive right through it all on the way to the hotel.
B: Oh, well you should probably go ahead and send them cause I'm not going to be seeing it.
L: What?! How come?
B: I got sent down tonight. They told me after the game.
L: Are you kidding me?
He wasn't. Were we really having this conversation while I was already there waiting for him to arrive? I was crushed. He was crushed. We were going to have a whole day of sightseeing in a new city together. Instead I'm staying in New York, alone, and he is flying to Memphis. I wasn't ready to go back to the room and be alone and ponder over everything that just happened and all that needed to happen. I stayed out in Times Square until about 1 am. Mostly just taking in the little time I had left in NY.
I went back to the room, showered, and cried. There was no point holding it in. I cried because I could hear the disappointment in my husbands voice on the other end of the phone. Because I couldn't be there to comfort him. Because I know how much he loves what he does. Because he wants to live his dream. Because he loves supporting our family. Because I won't see him for ten days. I needed and wanted to be there for him and I was hundreds of miles away and stuck. We were both helpless. We can't control and had no say in the matter. It's hard.
I made the decision to head to the airport as soon as I woke up, after not falling asleep until after four, and cancel Monday's flight and schedule a new one. After a hour and a half delayed flight after boarding...I made it back to St. Louis to my parents house.
Did I mention that we gave our 30 day notice for our Memphis apartment on the 29th, scheduled for our rental furniture to be picked up, and the rented washer and dryer to be picked up. Also, Brandon's bags were on the plane already and ended up in NYC without him. Fortunately he has a hotel room for the evening and his bags will be there soon.
I like to think I'm handling this all very well, maybe I'm not. I don't know. How do you prepare for this? I know it's complicated for those who don't fully understand how it works. Basically they just tell my husband which team he is playing for on any given day and that's where we go. Right now its between Memphis and St. Louis but... if a trade happens, well, I don't want to think about it.
Since he is leaving for a road trip, I'm staying in Missouri with my family, who has been awesome and them living here has made our life so much easier. We'll try and let the dust settle before our lives change again unexpectedly. I have a sleep over already planned with my favorite munchkins and a trip to see all siblings next weekend. We don't know why this happened, but we are trying to focus on the fact that we don't know what will happen tomorrow or the next day, or the next and that it could be so much better than today.
Times like these make me realize how much of a rockstar my husband is. He used to be a bachelor and could handle this all on his own, now he has to worry about me too, and he does it the midst of all he has going on. I'm learning to be adaptable and always ready to roll with the punches even though some days they are sucker punches. Luckily we can rely on each other through the chaos. He apologizes for me being stranded alone. I apologize for him and his bad days at work. We pick each other up and sympathize for the other, we love each other through it all. I guess that is the lesson in today's crazy events. We're gonna be okay because we'll always have each other.