Wednesday, June 20, 2012

10 Ways to Encourage Your Spouse

In high school I was voted Most Spirited by my class. I know this isn't any official award or anything to be proud of but I feel that this particular quality is complimentary to being a wife of a baseball player. When you think of someone with spirit do you think of a cheerleader? Hate to burst your bubble but I was never a cheerleader. I had no plan after high school to become one either. Surprise for me, when I said 'I do' I accepted the job as head cheerleader for team B & L. 

One man team..should be cake to cheer on this dude! Well what if your guy starts slipping again and again and again. Not so easy now is it? He has to know that someone believes in him no matter what the score. That someone is me.  [enter leg kick here]

I know that is probably a terrible analogy for the things I'm about to share with you but its the truth. Cheerleaders cheer the entire game. It doesn't matter what the score. They never sit down or quit cheering until the game is over. Well our game isn't close to being over and I have to cheer on my guy. 

So I compiled a list of ways to encourage your better half. If you're the better half then I mean your spouse. This is targeted towards encouraging a man, of any profession, so if you're a man reading this these barely apply to you. Use cautiously. 

1. Prayer. First of all, I know I need help so I'm calling in reinforcements. We are gonna need the whole team on this one. I know prayer isn't for everyone so maybe you write a note of encouragement instead. Usually I like to write them out and email them because we aren't together. This also serves as a reminder for him, and me, that He is in control. It's better to split the burden three ways, than just one. I also do this late at night so it's a nice surprise for him to start the next day. This is my go to and he has never said to me, "wow that made me feel worse." Always a win.

2. Jokes. You can find humor relating to almost any topic here. I know my guy has an awesome sense of humor and he likes to laugh. I'll try several times to get a laugh. If that doesn't work I try something else. It lets him get his mind off whatever it is bothering him, even if that's me. 

3. Gifts. Do not get fancy here. I mean something small. A Hallmark card and candy. None of this American Greetings junk. Just kidding, I'm a little biased to Hallmark. Even handmade will do. I had to mail something to B one time and decided to go the extra mile and send him lots of sweets that are unhealthy for him and a card. He appreciated all the 'sugar' I sent. (In the south kisses are called sugar cute huh?) First line said this.. "Hey, remember that time you left me in New York?" and I included a York peppermint patty. That's Mrs. Most Spirited coming out and maybe a little bit of sass.

4. Space.  If you're having a bad day or something is bumming you out do you always want to talk about it? Respect your other half. If they say they aren't in the mood to talk - let them be. It really probably isn't you at all. If it is you then that isn't my problem. Joking, but honestly let them cool down. You'll get cool points for being understanding.

5. Avoid the subject. For guys, if they don't want to talk about it, they don't want to talk about it. Pretend the situation never happened and he will love you. More than he already does. This is different from space. Space refers to not talking at all, avoiding the subject allows you to still talk, just not about the issue.

6. Date Night. Can't go into details here but dazzle him with your wits. Use your best assets. You feel me? I'm a married woman - don't judge.

7. Poems. I like to rhyme and I'm pretty good at it. Plus its cute and catchy. One time we (me and my little bro) turned a rhyme into a rhythm and actually wrote a song for Brandon. That will never be on the blog ever, I'm sorry. Unless we start practicing again.. Ol' Cotton Dickson is taking the mound, removes his cap as the anthem sounds....NO its never going to be on the blog. 

8. Songs. No, not one you wrote but maybe the lyrics to a song that is talking about something you feel you're going through. I can't tell you the number of times I text him telling him a good song to listen to because of the lyrics. If you can't think of any then I recommend Sexy and I know It by LMFAO. Two for one here jokes and song. 

9. Food. Did I already use this? No that was candy. So I like to bake treats for my guy as well.  Cookies. Brownies. The new cookie brownie. He doesn't complain. It definitely never hurts the situation. *Note if you are encouraging him on a diet journey food probably shouldn't be your weapon of choice unless its a cheat day. 

10. Be there.  Ask yourself am I hurting or helping the situation? Don't decide now that this is the time to nag him for this and that. Pick up the slack for your guy. Pick up your guy, not physically but emotionally, be there for him to lean on if he needs. If not.. still be there.

Dear husband, this ones for you. I really always try to make your life easier especially if you feel that things aren't going your way. I hope that all of these methods I've used, and now shared with the world, have helped you in some way. Also I'd like to say if it would make you happy I will put your song on the blog but that is last resort to cheer you up. I also feel that we need new team uniforms in all camo because I know that would be your wish. (That was me using a joke to make you laugh.)  - xo xo your #1 cheerleader. 

What do you think? Do these work for you and do you have any I'm missing?



  1. I agree with this post wholeheartedly! A 6 pack of beer works like a charm too. ;)

  2. As a newlywed, I love this - thank you so much for posting your insights!

  3. you are the most precious in the world!!! these are all such good ideas miss lauren!

  4. Very good post!! #1 and #10 are my favs!