Sunday, January 20, 2013

Small Town Kid

We hit the pillows around 12:30 a.m., set our alarms for two and half hours later and held on to each other as if we weren't going to see one another for years. As soon as my alarm went off I thought, please not yet, I'm not ready for him to go. He gathered his last few items shoved them into his luggage. I headed out the door first so I didn't have to witness him saying goodbye to our pup. I knew I would lose it. We rode silently to the airport holding hands. I had a lump in my throat and my stomach. I apparently had refused to acknowledge the idea that we were moving to Japan. I ignored the fact that he was getting on a plane without me and flying halfway around the world.

We talked little about a few things that didn't get taken care of before he left. All things that I can easily take care of for him. As we got closer and closer to the airport I couldn't help but feel more and more anxious. Where had this peace gone that I was so confident I had. He was going and I couldn't stop him. But I didn't want to, I just wanted to be going too. We hugged and exchanged looks. His said, "I love you please don't cry." Mine said, "I love you please don't go." Tears slowly streamed down my cheeks as I kicked myself for crying. This is just as hard on him don't make it harder. I wiped them away, smiled, and sent my handsome hubby on his way. I hate to see him go but I love to watch him walk away.

I drove home alone and it always amazes me the songs that play on the radio during certain times. Two in particular. First played Brad Paisley's Southern Comfort Zone. Although Brad is singing about Tennessee, substitute Alabama and this fits perfectly for Brandon.

Not everybody drives a truck, not everybody drinks sweet tea
Not everybody owns a gun, wears a ball cap boots and jeans
Not everybody goes to church or watches every NASCAR race
Not everybody knows the words to "Ring Of Fire" or "Amazing
And I Miss my Tennessee home
But I can see the ways that I've grown
I can't see this world unless I go
Outside my Southern Comfort Zone
- Brad Paisley
Then I heard Thompson Square's If I Didn't Have You.  Basically saying this life would kill me if I didn't have you. True. It probably would. I can't tell how comfortable I feel when Brandon is around.  I'm so proud of him because I know that he took this job for more than just himself and baseball, but to provide for our family. How can I be sad or upset that he left? I can't. We mesh perfectly and I'm looking forward to meeting up with him in Japan as quickly as it can come! I miss that cowboy of mine.


  1. You are so beautiful. I love your love story. I love your honesty. You'll be together again soon.

  2. I haven't blogged, nor kept up with everyone's blogs, except through Facebook. However, seeing as you guys are going to be halfway around the world and I don't want to miss anything, I'm picking up my "blogging pen" and going to start participating for you. Love you and want to see you this week...

  3. Oh Lauren! You are so much stronger than me. And now you're that much closer to seeing him :) This was beautifully written, I'm so glad you're being so raw and honest because it will be awesome for you to look back on and remember exactly how you felt! Love you friend!