Wednesday, January 16, 2013

At Peace

Our relationship has always had the element of distance play a role. When we first started dating we lived in different cities ten hours apart. The day before he would leave from a visit I would get really sad and not be fun to be around. All I could focus on was that he was leaving me the next day. Then the day of I would cry. It was the I don't want to live without you cry. I realize now this may have been a bit dramatic.

The following season we were only five hours apart with visits about every other weekend. The same for the following year. Some visits would end with me leaving sad and in tears but for the majority I tried to avoid being Debbie downer. Once we got married the distance was still there but it occurred just about every other week for seven to ten days. Distance has been at bay for the last few months but soon distance will have found it's measly little way back into our life.

We have spent the last four months almost inseparable except for a few hunting trips here and there. We have bonded and become closer than I feel we have ever been. Naturally you would think it to be really hard to say goodbye for six or seven weeks but I have this peace about it.

As we moved home in September pretty defeated about the previous season, we were uncertain as to where a job would take us. A new place to live. New teammates and wives to meet. A different life to settle into. It would be a new city to explore and of course a great new chapter to write in the story of our life. I just hadn't thought that it would be such a foreign place. Yet again I have peace about it.

If you came over to our house right now I'd be slightly embarrassed, not because all of the camouflage decor but the fact that it's undone and I feel like I've been cleaning and organizing since we got here. Remember the ant infestation of 2012. Ugh. It's hard to dedicate our 'off season' to big projects around the house. We want to enjoy things like movie dates, vacation, traveling, and lazy mornings like most people do all year round. So we have started lots of those big projects they just have yet to be completed at this point.

We are still very settled in. Cozy in our home. Our pantry is stocked and a fresh batch of cookies made. It seems as if no one is going anywhere anytime soon. I know different, but that isn't my focus. We are enjoying each day and the little preparations leading up to this adventure. I'm not stressed or worried about making sure everything is perfect and ready for Brandon's departure. Little by little the last month we have been prepping and guess what? I feel at peace about it.

This is completely out of nature for me. I tend to focus on what is being left behind. I dread when certain times in our life pass and I resist new changes. But this time I am confident that our new adventure will leave us changed forever with a stronger marriage and relationship. Not only do I have peace with the whole change, I am excited for the change.

1 comment:

  1. Again, beautifully written! You have such a tender heart, Brandon is lucky to have you :)

    I can relate to the distance always creeping into your lives, except for me its distance from family. I dont know why God calls us away from both of our families but I have peace that this is where we're supposed to be. Same for you, it's so so hard being away from your husband but God is calling him to Japan for this time and giving you peace about it, cool huh! Are you still feeling at peace now that he has been there a few weeks?