Sunset

The sun has set on another weekend but I hope you enjoyed celebrating the awesome Dad's in your life! 

I promised myself when I found out we would be living in Memphis that I would try to take in more of the city. After being here since Tuesday I tried a new restaurant downtown and went to the river twice. It was so pretty the first time that I had to take Brandon the second. We watched the sunset together and took some silly photos. I love that he is an outdoorsy guy and we can go enjoy these simple blessings together.

I know it isn't a huge accomplishment and doesn't really add many explore Memphis points but its a start. Although I'm not thrilled that I won't see my guy again for two weeks I'm looking forward to taking my favorite little tykes swimming, getting some sewing in, and jewelry making. I've been seeing some awesome beaded jewelry lately and have gobs of beads at my parents that I got years ago. I think its finally time to put them to use, we'll see. If you've seen or have any great inspiration - send it my way please.

LD

How I Do It

Hey friendlies. How is your weekend going? I've been thinking a lot the past few weeks after having many conversations with friends about how crazy, stressful, exciting, sucky, awesome, unpredictable this lifestyle is and can be. The most frequented question/comment was along the lines of How do you do it?/ I don't know how you do it.


Well today I'm going to tell you. I really have put a lot of time and thought into this. When asked on spot my answers were I just do, It's all we've known, and I don't know. While those are actually accurate and true, I've ventured a little deeper into my mind and heart to figure out how exactly how I do it. Now I have an answer that has a bit more substance.


In the very beginning of our relationship, I mean the very beginning, Brandon and I became friends on Facebook. We communicated through messages and nothing else. We worked at the same place and saw each other every day but we never talked in person. There was a connection from the get go without actually being together. Four days after we first hung out, he left town for a road trip. I wrestled in my mind if when he got back things would pick up where they left off. Also looming in the back of my mind was the fact that at the end of the season, I was packing my bags and heading north and he was heading south.  It was no secret from day one that we would have to learn how to be together without being together. 


This August we will celebrate being together for three years.  At some point in each of the three years we have dealt with long distance. So.. how do I do it?

Love + Trust + Independence

We'll start with love, because they say, first comes love...


Love. Everyone believes love means something different.  I'm not an expert on love but I seriously believe that love is what the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13:7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. ALL, not some things - job loss, promotions, death, births, moves, in-laws, financial trouble, you name it - love can take care of it. The day we got married we committed to one another forever, until we die, that we will love one another through it all, not through some of it.


Trust. I can't keep tabs on my guy especially when he is half way across the country but I don't need to. I trust him. I can't explain to you something so personal between him and I. It's just there. I know based on how he was raised and his faith that I can trust him 100%. My husband doesn't drink, at all. I also choose not drink with the exception of once or twice a year and it is literally one drink. I don't want to worry about his choices being influenced by alcohol and he doesn't want to to worry about mine. It's just our understanding with one another. He by no means tells me what to do. We just choose to not go out of our way to make our relationship harder than it needs to be. 


Independence. I am not a stage 5 clinger, unless we are in the same room together and then I have to have some part of me touching him. I spend a lot of time on my own. I mean a lot. All my fellow baseball girls can relate to this and it's no exaggeration. For a seven o'clock game, my guy shows up to work around one, even earlier if he has to get in a workout. The game isn't usually over until ten and then tack on time for eating/shower/post game arm exercises. By the time we go to bed, its about two or three. We sleep in, most the time, unless we have errands then start the whole process over. Road trips are usually four days or eight/nine day trips, some in the big leagues are 12 day trips.


Anyway back to the independence... I can't rely on my man to entertain me. This is his job and it keeps him busy. I was never one of those girls that was afraid to do things on my own like go to the bathroom. The only reason I need you is if I run out of toilet paper. Even if I do I can still manage on my own. If I'm in a new city, I'll go places by myself, walk around, explore, think, pray, thank God for all my blessings. That was one of the coolest things in NYC was walking around wherever I wanted. I even did it twice in STL while I was there living in the hotel. I also have my own hobbys. I love sewing and have even skipped a weeks worth of games because when he was at work that is when I could get stuff done. I even started my own little business to run and manage. I also like to blog, which is great for you. Even though I spend a lot of time on my own I like to keep myself busy so I don't realize I'm alone.


I can't tell you I don't get bored, or lonely, or sad that we can't be together. I can't tell you that we don't fuss at one another when we can only text or talk on the phone. What I can tell you is that we love and trust each other through it all and I have managed to maintain my independence and support him at the same time. While writing, I realize this post can apply to pretty much any relationship not just ours. You're welcome for the free advice and you can take it or leave it. Either way I won't be offended. 


LD

Fridays Letters - Take 1

I've never written Friday's Letters before. I imagine myself sitting at a desk and it going exactly like Jimmy Fallon's segment 'thank you notes' music and all. There now you have a great visual to go along with my first attempt. You're welcome.

Dear sewing machine,

I miss your little foot. We are gonna have a major sewing party next week. I've been brainstorming some ideas for you. I think you'll like our new creations.

Dear husband,

It's been so nice to kiss your face, fall asleep, and wake up next to you the last few days. I'm soaking it up because before long we will be miles apart again.

Dear sister,

I hope you have a great birthday tomorrow. Wish I could be home to celebrate but I feel like we got in great quality time last week.

Dear brother, (the little one)

I'm sorry about your crappy week. I love that you always think I'm going to have some great relationship advice to give you. I'm singing 'Love Stinks... ya ya' to you right now.

Dear rain jacket and favorite blue dress,

I'm really sorry I left you in New York. I'm more sorry that I just realized you were missing yesterday. I'm still working on getting you back, not sure if I will have any luck though.

Dear swimming pool,

Next week I'm coming for you and I'm bringing the little monsters to teach them how to swim. Not just that I will be working on my tan too, but not without some SPF. 

Dear Big Blue Truck,

I love you, but you are so expensive to fill up. I initially thought filling Brandon's stomach was going to be the expensive part in this marriage. I clearly thought wrong.

Dear Lydia Holden, 

I am counting down for your big day this weekend. I realize that we have never met but I just can't help to be obsessed with you and your superman. 

Dear Little Shop That Could,

I am sorry for neglecting you. I think about you everyday and how I'm going to make you work.

Dear Self-Doubt,

Get out - I don't want you here. Period

Dear Ashley from Fridays Letters,

Thanks for the great link up. I'm excited to meet some new friends. 

Dear  Awesome person reading this,,

It was probably a waste of your time but I'm glad you wasted your time with me. 

Sincerely,

Lauren

#laurentakesnyc

Well, I was planning on taking NYC...but that didn't happen. Oh well it gave another small town girl the chance to do the damage on that big city that I was planning. I did manage to embarrass myself with in twenty minutes of landing. My cab driver was foreign but he kept talking and I couldn't understand him. I kept apologizing and saying I'm sorry I don't understand.  Then he turned around and pointed to his blue tooth. I hate those dang things. I really thought he was talking to me. Fail. I wasn't in the city long -you can read that story here its a downer so finish reading this post first. 

Before I jetted outta town I did a little street walking. Not that kind. Maybe sightseeing is the better term.

Ben and Kristen so kindly invited me to their filming of The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. What I didn't know was that they invited anyone else walking by on the streets of New York. I'll forgive them. This time.  

Do you love ads? If not.. don't go to Times Square. Me, I love ads. Especially ads that are like movies. Our hotel was one block from here so I got to decide which companies have the best advertising tactics. My verdict -- the Movie BRAVE is coming out soon. Pepsi wants me to LIVE FOR NOW. Then there was two HUGE Corona ads. Also I learned the NBA Playoffs are on TNT. But mostly I snapped this shot for my little brother. He is a huge Kobe Bryant fan. In fact I think for the last two Christmases I've been promising him an awesome poster of his favorite Laker. Here you go bro, I never break a promise. Unfortunately this one was attached to a building and I couldn't get it through airport security.

I was definitely a tourist for my short stay in the Big Apple but when people crowd around something going on .. I gots to check it out. These artists always fascinate me. How do you become one? Do any of you have these mad spray paint/spackle tool paintings? I didn't buy one just snapped this photo, probably illegally. I'm sorry Mr NYC artist. 

Here is a quick photo I snapped to send to my guy to a. help cheer him up because he missed me and just got sucky news and b. have proof for everyone that I was actually in NYC. I was thrilled can't you tell? Don't forget I just welcomed some not so welcome news. The way I see it. I made it to NYC and can cross Times Square off the bucket list. 

I sat here for a while taking in the sensory overload that is Times Square at night. I almost watched a drunk guy get arrested for not paying cab fare. Exciting stuff. 

Then I got hungry. So I mosey on in to Chevys.. yep Chevys. Immediately I walked in the door and u-turned it outta there. What are you doing idiot?? I had to find a dumpy little local place for grub not some chain restaurant burrito.  

Did I mention that I also didn't know how to get to my hotel room. Not the actual hotel. Just my room in the hotel. I've never been in a high rise hotel with an elevator for the lower floors and a separate for the higher floors.  I had to ask, embarrassed, but I did. Newbie.

So I guess I can thank NYC for teaching me something about myself. My common sense isn't so common when I'm nervous and in a new place. It's gone. Out the window. If I didn't just give you proof via the cab driver story and not finding my room I have several more examples but I'd rather not share. 

New York.. I'm coming for you again another day. You were warned and next time I won't be alone. 

Last Things Thursday - III

Hello friends! It's been a while, like usual. You know I'm glad I have this online journal to help me keep track of where I am when and how I am feeling about it. Tonight....I'm coming to you from Memphis Tennessee. Yep - we're back! I honestly can't explain to you how it works, why,when, and who decides this. But I'll tell you that its not me and it's not my husband. We are just rolling with the punches best we can. If you're new and catching up with me maybe start waaay back here, here, or here. 


Today I'm linking up with Jenna like most Thursdays... who also just opened a new shop [Neon & Nude] check it out! 


The Last Thing I ...


ate - Mexican with my man. Last night was the first time I've seen him in TWO weeks. If you ask me, that's two weeks to long for these newlyweds. 

cried about - I was at my parents the last two weeks and our dog Rudy of 14 years is having some neck problems. He apparently had an episode of some sort and was not eating/drinking for a few days. I cried with him thinking about all the great times we've had together and that he was gonna be leaving us soon. I love this pup and am not looking forward to the day we have to say goodbye. Fortunately he is doing much better but he made me realize how much I love him. 

daydreamed - that Brandon and I went out on the lake fishing for the whole day. Hopefully we can do this when he has a few days off in July.


cooked - um, I seriously can't remember. I did pick up some cookie dough from the store so maybe I'll bake some cookies this week.


sewed - I have had a few orders for the new camera straps. Since I'm only visiting my guy until Monday - I didn't pack ANY crafting stuff. I  feel lost with out it to be honest but that's okay. I'll get over it. Plus I really feel like I have no clue which direction my shop is taking so it's better to have some time away to think/brainstorm/plan.


sang along to - Sunday, my sister, two brothers,two of their friends, and I went to the Brothers of the Sun Tour featuring Tim McDreamy McGraw and Kenny Chesney. I love country music and good looking cowboys. The only thing that could have made it better is if my cowboy was with me. Also Grace Potter opened for them and was awesome her album came out Tuesday - must buy! I love up and coming artists..it reminds me of my guy fighting to make his dream come true. Which also reminds me of Dave Owens and that you should go check him out here and his sweet amazing supportive wife here. 

laughed about - ecards. I love them and they are true, mostly. 

Alyssa ... I'm talking to you.

needed - was the weekend away with my family. Thursday I met with two of my close friends from college for dinner and to catch up. Then Friday - Monday I was in Kansas City. We went to the pool, caught a movie, rocked out at the concert, and then did some shopping.  I really enjoyed a weekend away from the crazy baseball life. Mostly I enjoyed the pool. I love the pool.

thought about social media - is that it's AWESOME. I seriously have been counting down for a wedding of someone I've gotten to know through Instagram. I know normally this would be creepy but it's not and I will totally meet them someday even if it's when I crash the wedding on the 23rd. If I haven't told you before I LOVE Instagram [larnlevydickson] and the Holden family. 

did spur of the moment - pulled off the road on my four hour drive to watch the sunset. This photo has a filter, but it doesn't matter this is how gorgeous it looked to me! I love that sometimes I stop to enjoy things like this. 

don't want to think about - leaving my man. Two weeks away was way too long not seeing each other. I can't even think that we are going to do this again from June 18 - July 4. Must get in lots of hugs and kisses now! But it does give us the opportunity for texts like this. It also reminds me of the beginning days of our relationship which is kinda cool. Not cool enough to make me forget I have to go to bed and wake up alone. Oh well - thankful for technology. 

did that made myself laugh - I'm silly what can I say. This is truly how I feel. Do you agree?

YOU did to make me happy - was to stop by my blog. Thank you and if no one has told you today you are awesome and can do whatever you put your mind to! Fight for you dreams and never stop.

New Camera Strap Covers

Hello lads and ladies...I've had some time to catch my breath. 

I'm not really sure how different our lives would be if my family didn't live in Missouri. I've been hanging out here temporarily until Brandon gets back to Memphis and then I'll rejoin him at that point. I'm unbelievably thankful for this.

While the last two weeks have kept me extremely busy they haven't allowed me any sewing time and hardly any blogging time. It was similar to working out after you take a break. I didn't want to but...I did and it made me realize how much I've missed creating fun things.

Especially new fun things which leads me to the new ruffled camera straps available in the shop. These actually came about because one of my friends pretty much forced me into making one for her. I can't really say 'no' when a camera strap shows up in my mailbox. I'm totally kidding and thankful for our friendship because she is probably one of my biggest customers. 

The way I'm selling these adorable camera strap slipcovers is via custom orders. If you want one I'll make it for you and with the colors and fabric patterns of your choosing based on selection available. We will work closely together to pick out what is best for YOU. I will try to have a large variety of colors available. 

In the midst of all our moving and the chaos it sometimes bring, I look forward to having your business. Please feel free to contact me with questions/requests via email - laurendarlings@gmail.com or start shopping here.

A Baseball Update - Behind the Scenes

Hey guess what... we've moved again/are still moving/never stop moving. I don't really know how to describe it so I'm going to do my best. 

I left you yesterday telling you I was going to New York until Monday. It's Thursday night. I've already been to New York and I am back at my parents house in Missouri. My husband on the other hand never made it to New York, is in Memphis, and leaves for another long road trip Friday. 

The thing with our life is that it is on a day-to-day basis. We thought that we had at least until mid June until we would be rejoining the Memphis team. We thought wrong. Brandon was temporary filling in for a teammate that was on the disabled list and we assumed we had more time. 

It's hard to explain how baseball life works sometimes but I'll keep going...

I arrived in New York yesterday afternoon and got checked into the hotel. When the ladies travel they are usually allowed to check in on arrival. Sometimes the guys don't get in until the early morning and they accommodate for the wives/girlfriends. The hotel was one block from Times Square - I promise I'll write some happy posts with touristy photos soon. I walked around with one of the other girls that had been to NY before. Then we headed back to the hotel to rest up and just do whatever. I got hungry around 9:30 and was nervous to go walk around in the big city alone, but me being the huge rebel I am decided to go. 

My husband finally called me and I was so excited to hear from him. Our conversation went something like this:

L: Oh my gosh -- you are not going to believe how big it is! I have been wanting to text you pictures since I got here but I know you'll be here in about two hours so I'll just let you see it in person. You're going to drive right through it all on the way to the hotel. 

B: Oh, well you should probably go ahead and send them cause I'm not going to be seeing it.

L: What?! How come?

B: I got sent down tonight. They told me after the game.

L: Are you kidding me?

He wasn't. Were we really having this conversation while I was already there waiting for him to arrive? I was crushed. He was crushed. We were going to have a whole day of sightseeing in a new city together. Instead I'm staying in New York, alone, and he is flying to Memphis. I wasn't ready to go back to the room and be alone and ponder over everything that just happened and all that needed to happen. I stayed out in Times Square until about 1 am. Mostly just taking in the little time I had left in NY. 

I went back to the room, showered, and cried. There was no point holding it in. I cried because I could hear the disappointment in my husbands voice on the other end of the phone. Because I couldn't be there to comfort him. Because I know how much he loves what he does. Because he wants to live his dream. Because he loves supporting our family. Because I won't see him for ten days. I needed and wanted to be there for him and I was hundreds of miles away and stuck. We were both helpless. We can't control and had no say in the matter. It's hard.

I made the decision to head to the airport as soon as I woke up, after not falling asleep until after four, and cancel Monday's flight and schedule a new one. After a hour and a half delayed flight after boarding...I made it back to St. Louis to my parents house. 

Did I mention that we gave our 30 day notice for our Memphis apartment on the 29th, scheduled for our rental furniture to be picked up, and the rented washer and dryer to be picked up. Also, Brandon's bags were on the plane already and ended up in NYC without him. Fortunately he has a hotel room for the evening and his bags will be there soon. 

I like to think I'm handling this all very well, maybe I'm not. I don't know. How do you prepare for this? I know it's complicated for those who don't fully understand how it works. Basically they just tell my husband which team he is playing for on any given day and that's where we go. Right now its between Memphis and St. Louis but... if a trade happens, well, I don't want to think about it.

Since he is leaving for a road trip, I'm staying in Missouri with my family, who has been awesome and them living here has made our life so much easier. We'll try and let the dust settle before our lives change again unexpectedly. I have a sleep over already planned with my favorite munchkins and a trip to see all siblings next weekend. We don't know why this happened, but we are trying to focus on the fact that we don't know what will happen tomorrow or the next day, or the next and that it could be so much better than today. 

Times like these make me realize how much of a rockstar my husband is. He used to be a bachelor and could handle this all on his own, now he has to worry about me too, and he does it the midst of all he has going on. I'm learning to be adaptable and always ready to roll with the punches even though some days they are sucker punches. Luckily we can rely on each other through the chaos. He apologizes for me being stranded alone. I apologize for him and his bad days at work. We pick each other up and sympathize for the other, we love each other through it all. I guess that is the lesson in today's crazy events. We're gonna be okay because we'll always have each other.