Three Years Later

"Will you go steady with me?" 

That is how my sweet boy asked me out three years ago. After I finished  giggling I of course said yes. At the time we couldn't tell anyone we were together. We were breaking the company rules. Three years later we are married and living this crazy baseball life together. My sweet husband has taught me how to be a better person, friend,and follower of Christ. He lives his life for him and it is evident. If I had to pick three words to describe Brandon they would be Man of God. If I could pick a few more I would add humble, compassionate, righteous, giver, and patient. He never seeks approval of man, he chooses to live and serve our God and by doing so he can love me and others with all of his ability.

I have a story that almost brings me to tears to tell you and I know he probably won't like that I did - more evidence of how humble he is. Last week were were driving back from Nashville when we stopped for gas. A woman in a car pulled up and asked where we were from. She proceeded to tell us the story of how a man stole her purse and she didn't have enough money for gas to get back home. She was crying and clearly upset. Brandon immediately offered to buy her some gas when she told us how the police already bought her gas and gave her a tank for the road and that she would just need some money for later on. She offered us her diamond earrings in exchange for some money and asked for our address to send us money when she made it home. He walked over to me and asked what I thought. With the possibility of us both thinking maybe we were getting scammed he opened his wallet without hesitation and proceeded to give this woman some money for gas. We told her to keep her diamond earrings and told her we hope that she would be able to make it home safely. Her appreciation was clear on her face and we knew she was grateful.

If your laughing thinking wow you got one pulled over on you, neither him or I care maybe we did? We will never know. We were giving from the goodness in our heart and if she was lieing and stole from us, that's on her now. My husband may be the only Jesus that woman will ever see. We have NO idea the effect we may have had on her or how we may have changed her life. It amazes me to see my husband live like Jesus and for that I am forever grateful.

He continues to bless me daily with his kindness and I only hope I can make him as proud as he makes me. I can't wait to see where life takes us in the next few years. We have been discussing things lately that NO one will could really believe we are thinking about doing and I know I wouldn't want to go through any of them with someone other than this guy! I hope that by sharing this guy and his heart with you, he inspires you to be a better person too. 

first photo together ever

 spring training 2010/valentines 2010/memphis 2012

nye 2010/ hunting fall 2010/ memphis 2012

 seaworld feb 2012/ fake marriage / spring training 2012

 all star break 2010/ engagement photo/ zbb concert nov 2010

 engagement christmas eve 2010/ blake shelton concert jan 2012

 spring training 2012 / first visit to memphis 2010

 cowboy game 2010 / all star game 2012

first christmas 2011/ honeymoon / mountain vacation nov 2010

Dear Husband,

Thank you for always being patient with me. I know you threaten to leave me often when I'm not ready and I love you for not. Thank you for making me laugh often. I want you to know that I love your accents and I truly miss them when we aren't together. I may have to start taking audio clips of you so I can have them all the time. I've told you before but when we are together I feel so at peace. I know that you are the only one for me and cannot wait for all the crazy adventures we are planning or that are being planned for us. You have changed my life for the better and bring out the best in me. Thank you for always forgiving me when I am not my best self and teaching me how to learn from every experience. Finally thank you for teaching me how to live in the moment. I love you more than I've began to express here. Looking forward to eternity with you. 

I love you!

Live Like There's No Tomorrow

It's been a crazy eleven days. I'm back in Missouri, fresh off the road. I was calculating this morning as I was laying in bed how many more trips are probable this season from Memphis to my parents house. It's about five and after typing that I'm not going to think about it again. I know it seems crazy to go back and forth every eight days or so but I'll tell you a few reasons why I do it. Our 'home' is in Alabama which is ten hours from my family and with the opportunity to be close to them during the season is very important to me. We see them in the off season but traveling is less frequent. Then we moved out totally in May and that pretty much set the tone for us for the season. There was no point to load it ALL up and move again two weeks later. Finally, I'm hoping that we end the season in St. Louis but.. that's all up in the air. Exciting news though we paid our last months rent at the roach motel. I will say the roach problem has pretty much ceased but it's still nasty!

Back to the drive, it really isn't all that bad. I have, over the last three months, found my favorite stops all along the way including a Hobby Lobby, Chick-fil-A, Starbucks, Target, Jimmy John's and gas stations that have clean bathrooms.

I almost always have a Mt. Dew and sunflower seeds and the radio stays on one of two XM stations: The Highway or The Message. By the time I reach my destination I am usually hoarse from singing at the top of my lungs. I'm not good but I don't care.

I also use this time to decompress from the week. To think about all the things Brandon and I have discussed the previous days together.  I'll spend time praying for Brandon and our future. Then I brainstorm craft ideas that I can work on the upcoming week. This all happens in no particular order and sometimes it's all happening at the same time. 

If you were a fly riding shot gun...you probably would think I was crazy, but that's fine with me.

I found and listened to my newest favorite song today about 20 times and it made me ponder life and how beautifully sweet life is. Take a listen.

I feel more so lately than ever that life is so precious. You get to live each second of each day one time.  Earlier this week we found out one of our church members was in a four-wheeler accident and hit by a dump truck. His name was Brandon and he was a few years younger than me. He had endured some ugly things his time here on earth things that no one deserves. While I didn't know him very well he will always hold a special place in our church families heart and the Marbury community. He always asked me about Brandon on Sunday's when I would be at church alone and could always be found with a smile on his face. He will be missed.

Don't waste time on the petty things. Don't hold grudges. Live like there's no tomorrow!

LD

Our Honeymoon / Virtual Vacation

I was thinking how much baseball has consumed our lives lately and how relaxing a summer beach vacation would be about now. As I was pulling photos for an update post of the last few weeks I came across our honeymoon photos.  What a perfect time to relive it all! 

My aunt and uncle gifted us a week in Cabo for our wedding present. It was awesome! We were especially grateful to have such a nice place to go and relax after the chaotic and exciting baseball season and all the wedding planning. 

We sat through two time share presentations and honestly...we almost got hooked. We told each other before we went to them we were NOT buying a timeshare. Period. They made it look good, real good. We got out of Mexico without owning property though and instead ended up getting some great excursions for a little less than $70 a piece. Steal. We went on a scuba adventure, baja buggies, and jet skiing. The other time we spent eating chips, salsa, and guacamole or other things honeymooners do. My favorite line from the excursion salesmen was "You're on your honeymoon, want to know how I know? Because you look tired and she looks happy." I said that with an accent as I was typing it, I hope you do the same. Made me laugh every time!  We didn't get  a ton of pictures but we took our GoPro video camera and captured our adventures. 

If only we were there now instead of living through these photos...sigh.

LD

I Ain't No Quitter

Apparently I hate the idea of being a quitter. I've logged some hours sewing this week. Don't really have much else for you right now except some pics of things I've been working on. 

I'd love to know what you'd like to see more (or less) of.

Laminated Fabric Keychains - aka waterproof beauties, available here,

the everything pouch - ereader compatible, all of these are still available ($12 + 2 S&H)

my attempt at an iPad case - will get correct measurements on the next one

 and the cutest diaper & wipes case...ever! Isn't baby stuff adorable. I should get one...in a couple years. 

I have been loving the quilted look as of late. Although it takes more time, it makes the quality and look of the bag so much better.  Now.. if only I can get these all of these items available in the shop. 

LD

No Sugar Coating, I'm Not Willy Wonka

Yikes. I have seen an ugly side of myself this week. After parting ways with Brandon at the airport on Thursday morning I have been in quite a funk. It actually died off about Friday evening but it was ugly while it lasted. I was sad and deflated. How could such a wonderful seven days with my husband leave me feeling like this?

I try to stay positive here on the blog, not to give you the wrong idea but more so to encourage others to be positive. I truly feel I've been honest with you all about how I've been dealing with being a baseball wife and all that comes with it. I have enjoyed the travel, adventure, and the unexpected. I have found myself keeping busy with multitude of things and it hasn't seem bad at all. Until lately. I cracked. 

I was craving more time with him. Another morning to wake up next to each other and I couldn't have it. I was both angry and sad, yet helpless. This is what it looks like. The ugly side. I wanted to crawl into bed and sleep the day away. But at the same time I knew I wanted to change how I felt. I knew that I had overcome these less severe feelings I've had in the past and that I could do it again.

This negativity snowballed. Yes it gets worse. The whole time I drove from Memphis to Missouri I debated back and forth on closing LaurenDarlings. I've been blessed with this gift but I am struggling to figure out how to utilize it in the way I was created to do so. I really enjoy making and creating/sewing different things. The weeks when I am with Brandon I pretty much have to put the shop in vacation mode. I also don't want to spend all my time online networking when I can be looking at his cute face, cooking him dinner, or spending quality time with him. It has left me torn and at this point I haven't figured out how to balance and make both work. Of course he will always come first no question.

When I'm not with Brandon I spend my time sewing. As I just explained, I wasn't sure my heart was in the right place on return from this trip. What was the point, at this point, to keep making anything? I just kept buying more, and making more, and selling less. I'm not concerned with making a profit, I would just like to be able to make back what I put into my shop. But I wasn't, I'm not and that is really discouraging.

I sat at my machine for an hour before I even turned it on, maybe longer. I had a few requests from some people I knew in town asking for various items. I had told them I would try to make those products so that's what I was going to do. I have to say those projects are what helped me out of the slump. I'm grateful for them. I also apologize to those individuals who have been patiently waiting for me to fill their requests. Truth be told I want to keep all the things I made for them. But I won't. 

In the meantime Brandon knew I was in a sad place and that I was missing him terribly. He text me this. 

"P.U.S.H. through it." 

He always has been very simple but that text was exactly what I needed. For those who have never heard this, it's an acronym for pray until something happens. I can always count on him to say the right thing and encourage me when I need it most. 

You, as well as myself, will be glad to hear the slump is over. I prayed for peace and direction and I still am. I miss Brandon dearly but... I am thankful my passion to sew and create hasn't been taken from me. For a minute, I thought it was gone and I would have dealt with it. It was a great reminder to me of how much I actually love sewing.

I can't tell you for sure the direction LaurenDarlings will take. I've decided only this, I'm going to keep making product and use whatever supplies I have on hand without buying new. I will be listing and selling these various items and most likely there may be only one available. Some fabrics I have more of, others I only have a scrap piece, If you love it snatch it up. I will probably make them first available to my Instagram followers because it's my favorite and easiest form of social media. If you're not following me my username is @larnlevydickson. From there I will list them in my storenvy shop - LaurenDarlings. As always you can contact me via email - laurendarlings@gmail.com. 

I know posts that aren't happy, cheery, and full of great photos aren't fun to read but I felt the need to be honest about my feelings and whats been on my heart. My life is easily stereotyped and misconstrued to be luxurious and carefree and I just want you to remember that I'm human too. I will leave you with one happy photo from our trip last week just so we end on a good note.

LD

niagara fALLSTAR break

Greetings from...Buffalo, NY! How is everyone? I'm not going to stay long. I've been trying not to spend too much time on the computer/blogging when I have things I can be doing, seeing, and enjoying this summer. Life is too short.

Anyway if you follow me on Instagram, which you're crazy if you don't (kidding), you would have seen that yesterday we visited the gorgeous Niagara Falls.

I can't tell you enough how great of time we had. It is rare that I get to spend a warm summer day doing something great with my handsome other half so when we do it makes me extremely happy. He did have some baseball duties to report for yesterday afternoon but I was feeling under the weather towards the end of our adventure and napped all afternoon while he was gone so it worked out perfectly.

LD

Lately...

 Been feeding my man....

Driving a lot, swimming, name change, traffic.

Lake weekend with the girls.

 Boat rides and fetch with Goliath.

Jewelry making.

Best friends baby, H20, Baseball Crafting

Flags, Cobbler, Favorite Baseball game snacks.

I've been enjoying the last few weeks of summer as you can see. Taking a bit of a break here from the blog but don't want to leave you out on our adventures. 

We were going to have three joyous days off for the all star break Monday - Wednesday. Last week we found out Brandon was selected to represent the Memphis team so instead of heading south to chill for a few days we are headed to Buffalo, NY. Congratulations to my two time AAA All Star. Thanks again for another new adventure you're taking me on.

LD