Hawaii 2013

We've been home for almost two weeks and I'm just now finding some time to catch up a little bit.

 

Hawaii was very good to us and we still have peeling sunburns today to remind us of the sun and sand. We spent lots of time walking the beaches, ocean floating, exploring the North Shore and taking a submarine tour. We adjusted, for the most part, to some jet lag, ate one of my favorite meals ever at Roy's, and enjoyed the fusion of Japanese/Hawaiian/American people. Not to mention eating some tasty American food.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then we started our travel home on the wrong foot with a single piece of luggage being left at the hotel, being a dollar shy for a luggage cart, two flight delays totaling four hours out of Hawaii resulting in missed connections. We finally arrived back home late Sunday.

 

Thanks Hawaii for allowing us to relax for a few days before reality set in. Hope to see you again next year.

 

A Bigger Purpose

I received some reading material from our church family a few weeks back. Normally Brandon leaves shortly after I wake up, if not before, and I have time alone to eat my breakfast. As I flip through different articles and devotionals I try to find something to kick start my day. A nugget of wisdom here or a bible verse there, whatever jumps out at me.

 

I stumbled upon this article titled Embracing Change in the July issue of Homelife and knew it was right up my alley. For whatever reason, I didn't begin to read the article, instead it was laid open to the page on the floor of our bedroom for several days. I knew it was going to slap me in the face with truth and I guess my instinct was to avoid the convictions I knew were written upon the following pages.

 

Then one night as I was trying to fall asleep, Brandon already off deep in dreamland, I found myself anxious and unsettled. I couldn't pinpoint the exact reason but I have no doubts that it had part to do with hormonal changes and part to do with this season that seems to be dragging on.

 

Of course, I pick up the article and start to read. Basically a couple gets married, has a baby, moves across the US, on one income.

 

Seems pretty familiar. I found my gut in my throat...gulp... and pressed on reading.

 

Word after word I couldn't read fast enough.....

 

...if Christ is at the center of your marriage, your job isn't to create a comfortable life but to develop a life that's securely grounded, despite uncomfortable circumstances.....

.

Japan, uncomfortable, surely not. I can put food on the table, take a hot bath, and live more comfortable than lots of people in our world.

 

...trust ... it's the result of an intentional, daily commitment to submitting yourself, your plans, and your personal comfort to the authority of God...

 

Not so easy, my plans, whatever they may be, feel only achievable from the land of the US and personal comfort - goodbye favorite restaurants and Target shopping. I know what it sounds like, you snob. And I won't deny it, I can't hide in my sin and selfishness to want these things. And yet I read on.

 

...Abraham and Sarah announcing to their entire family that they were to pack up because God told them to travel to an unknown place (Genesis 12)....when Noah told his family God commanded him to build an ark because it was going to rain (Genesis 6)...reflect on Job, who was determined to trust God even when his wife didn't (Job 2)...the most shocking of all, Mary telling Joseph she was pregnant and the father was God...

 

Whoa. I'll let that sink in for a second.

 

...God doesn't promise stability; however, submission to His will does promise security - in your marriage and in your life.

 

Like I knew it would, the article stirred in my heart many things.

• Our marriage is securely grounded in Christ whether we live in Alabama or Japan. Amen for that.
• My attitude (as of lately) has not been intentional in submitting to the authority of God's will and not my own. In my eager attempt to rush home I may be missing daily opportunities to serve others. My dad told me a few years back that I have a tendency to always want to be somewhere else, instead of being where I am. He is right.
• Knowing that we very well could be returning for a second season, with a child, has triggered some (okay a lot) of questioning of our purpose and time in Japan. The answer may show tomorrow or this week, but mostly likely we are seed planters and the harvest may not show for years. Who's lives are we supposed to touch while we are here? Maybe its someone back home reading our story? Where do we find maximum opportunities to love others and live out the truths we read daily? Or are we here, Brandon and I, for our marriage? For the bad to be whittled away (cause lets face it we are not perfect) and the good to grow into something even better. Now that to me is exciting stuff. Opportunities to change and impact others... I like it!

This past week I have only been able to feel this nasty cloud of restlessness, an unsettled feeling, and angst (none of which can be good for baby). I've been trying to hash it out daily. I thought perhaps spending more time being grateful for the small things would help or talking with Brandon. Each time I tried to bring it up the words just came out sounding like, "I hate this place get me home."  I reasoned that it was okay to feel that way, ready to be home, and while I know that it is okay to feel that, I cannot go on feeling only that.

 

Then last night I started writing a version of this post in my head and I started to feel better. Only problem was it was 3:30 am and I was snug as a bug, with the hamster wheel turning. I woke up today with one goal -- to shake the feeling that has been bringing me down. 

 

Okay so its more of a three part goal to work on.  To seek and find contentment in our circumstances. To trust the architect of my life's plan. And to focus on the positive outcomes that my very small presence could make to someone or in someone's life.

 

Really long story short, whatever or however it may appear our life is, it is nothing short of a life full of trials, both happy and sad, moments of anxiety and worry, frustrations, and insecurities. I do try to keep this blog a happy place, same with my Facebook and Instagram feeds, chocked full of good happy memories. I use this little space to share and open up, because a lot of times after I do, I feel much better, even if no one else reads what I have to say. 

 

 **Bold text is borrowed and paraphrased from Embracing Change by Wynter Pitts. July 2013 issue of Homelife**

Peach Cobbler

I've found myself in the kitchen quite a bit lately. One of the things I never realized is just how much life revolves around meals and eating. In college cooking dinner consisted of boiling noodles and pouring jar spaghetti sauce over the top. I just never had the urge or desire to spend lots of time in the kitchen preparing delicious tasty meals. Which is why it was always such a treat going home for breaks because my mom would spoil us with our favorite meals.

 

Then when I started dating Brandon, it didn't take me long to figure out that they key to his heart is actually through his stomach. I began cooking more substantial meals when I would visit him during the weekends. I know the type of food and quality that is typically served to ballplayers and just felt that I wanted to cook him something that would actually fill his belly. I also knew that he was away from home cooking for eight months and some home cooked meals would hit the spot.

 

Now we are married and isolated in a foreign country that has even more limited food options and so my skills as a cook in the last five months have far succeeded what I thought I was capable of. The first meal I cooked in this apartment was hamburgers and a box of Kraft macaroni. Not my proudest moment but we didn't go hungry and at that point I imagined we would have lots of burgers and lots of macaroni. We ate them on bread with ketchup and that was that. Fast forward a few months I made burgers again but with homemade macaroni, lettuce, tomato, and bacon to top the burgers and we had them on buns. I remember thinking, 'wow I've come a decent way in the cooking department.' It wasn't a huge accomplishment but what I realized is just how much more comfortable I've become in our new surroundings. Little victories.

 

Even more so in the last month, Brandon often makes comments like the following, "You know what sounds good? That mozzarella cheese dip you make. Do you think you could make that?" My first instinct is to say no way, I will never find all the ingredients I need but for some reason I don't have the heart to say no. I understand what he is going through as far as wanting certain things from home to eat or snack on. So I make the efforts and attempt to fill those requests with a positive outcome more often than not.

 

Thus began the real advancement of my cooking abilities. Dip turned into potato salad, which turned into his Mema's chicken and dumplings, which turned into me wanting a peach cobbler. I don't know where the notion came from in my head that I couldn't make any of the above but it was there. I'm happy to say that it has since been removed and I now feel like I could attempt to make just about whatever Brandon's requests. Other things I've cooked include chicken fried chicken, a cheesecake, meatballs, curry and rice, beef bowls, cinnamon rolls(fail), biscuits(semi-fail), lemon garlic tilapia, vegetable soup, stuffed chicken, and chicken and noodle soup. I will admit that some evenings the last thing I want to do is cook dinner, or maybe it's getting the groceries, but the satisfaction I feel after making something delicious and seeing Brandon dig in for seconds or thirds far exceeds the workload.

 

I've taken for granted the amazing cooks in my life and this year has made me appreciate their talent and gift so much more. I can't count the number of times I wished I could pick up the phone and called to ask how to make a certain dish. Maybe it's knowing I have my own child on the way and that I want to be able to always provide delicious meals. It could be just the simple fact of knowing that if I don't cook, our options for meals here are extremely limited. Either way it has sparked a passion for cooking and learning how to cook some of Brandon's favorites and some of my own.

 

With all that being said, summer is not summer for me without a peach cobbler. Usually I just have to sweetly ask my mom and wam-bam-thank-you-ma'am a peach cobbler is served.  However not this year. After a long discussion via facetime with some secret tricks and tips I slapped on my apron and gave it a whirl. Ok there was no apron but what's a little flour on your shorts going to hurt?  So I now present to you the makings of my very first ever peach cobbler. I know I have one proud grandma in Heaven.

 

 

If you are wondering if it tastes as good as it looks then I will lie to you out of the sheer kindness of my heart that it was awful. No good. Not making it again, until Brandon gets back on Monday. This one I plan to dish out to some of the gracious friends I've made here. Ones that borrowed me the sugar and the glass dish for which this delicious treat wouldn't be possible otherwise. And probably to anyone else who knocks on the door between now and when it disappears.

 

Cooking and baking has also helped fill a small void that I've had to create. I truly miss sewing and crafting, and even writing here regularly. But again a passion has been ignited for me lately and I hope to continue to share these things with you, just from the kitchen instead of in front of my sewing machine, at least for now.

 

As always, thank you for letting us share pieces of our life with you! It means show much to be able to not only experience this adventure but to share with everyone back home just how much God is richly blessing our lives and helping us grow in areas that are lacking. Amen for that.

 

The peach cobbler recipe can be found here.

Cheat tips:

Slice peaches into dish. Immediately add lemon juice over peaches.

Add 1/4 teaspoon almond extract with step two.

Eat with vanilla ice-cream.



At Peace

 

 

Our relationship has always had the element of distance play a role. When we first started dating we lived in different cities ten hours apart. The day before he would leave from a visit I would get really sad and not be fun to be around. All I could focus on was that he was leaving me the next day. Then the day of I would cry. It was the I don't want to live without you cry. I realize now this may have been a bit dramatic.

The following season we were only five hours apart with visits about every other weekend. The same for the following year. Some visits would end with me leaving sad and in tears but for the majority I tried to avoid being Debbie downer. Once we got married the distance was still there but it occurred just about every other week for seven to ten days. Distance has been at bay for the last few months but soon distance will have found it's measly little way back into our life.

We have spent the last four months almost inseparable except for a few hunting trips here and there. We have bonded and become closer than I feel we have ever been. Naturally you would think it to be really hard to say goodbye for six or seven weeks but I have this peace about it.

As we moved home in September pretty defeated about the previous season, we were uncertain as to where a job would take us. A new place to live. New teammates and wives to meet. A different life to settle into. It would be a new city to explore and of course a great new chapter to write in the story of our life. I just hadn't thought that it would be such a foreign place. Yet again I have peace about it.

If you came over to our house right now I'd be slightly embarrassed, not because all of the camouflage decor but the fact that it's undone and I feel like I've been cleaning and organizing since we got here. Remember the ant infestation of 2012. Ugh. It's hard to dedicate our 'off season' to big projects around the house. We want to enjoy things like movie dates, vacation, traveling, and lazy mornings like most people do all year round. So we have started lots of those big projects they just have yet to be completed at this point.

We are still very settled in. Cozy in our home. Our pantry is stocked and a fresh batch of cookies made. It seems as if no one is going anywhere anytime soon. I know different, but that isn't my focus. We are enjoying each day and the little preparations leading up to this adventure. I'm not stressed or worried about making sure everything is perfect and ready for Brandon's departure. Little by little the last month we have been prepping and guess what? I feel at peace about it.

This is completely out of nature for me. I tend to focus on what is being left behind. I dread when certain times in our life pass and I resist new changes. But this time I am confident that our new adventure will leave us changed forever with a stronger marriage and relationship. Not only do I have peace with the whole change, I am excited for the change.

cleaning has perks

I got the bright idea that Mondays aren't tough enough on their own. Which is why I decided to tackle the mess we call our spare bedroom. You know it's bad when you can't even walk in the door. Thankfully we have a door and we've kept it shut. Problem temporarily solved.

 

I trashed a lot of clutter today but came across several gems. I found the journal I started writing when Brandon and I first started talking. Apparently he made me have all kinds of thoughts I couldn't handle in my head so I spilled them all over the pages of a journal. It is so great to have because I really fell hard for this man and at the time had no clue how it was going to end. A lot of it was written during our long distance time together and it just reassured me that the five weeks we are about to be away from each other will pass and we will survive. In fact I think I need to start writing a journal again because reading back personal thoughts years later is so fun. Plus you get to see what you were worried or thinking about  and how it has played out. Even though I thought it before I documented it, I wrote I wanted to marry him just seven days after the first night we hung out. I guess it's true when they say, "When you know, you just know."

 

And then... there is this gem. A birthday card from Brandon and it pretty much sums up his sense of humor. Now I just have to find the perfect frame for it. I love this silly man of mine.

 

Lauren

Being Intentional

I really, really, like my sleep. And I know that when kids come along, I will still really like it. I just won't have the choice if I get it, much less when. It might get ugly.

 

In the first four days of the new year, I've  managed to roll out of bed before 9:30. I know, I know...that's NOT early at all. But for me it is. I'm used to 11, 12, some days 1 P.M. Go ahead and judge, make jokes. Trust me, you will not be the first or probably the last. Call me lazy, I already beat you to it.

 

I don't have a job. I'm not in school. I rarely have to cook dinner because we eat with Brandon's family the majority of the time. Brandon works out four days a week and is usually gone four hours in the morning. That leaves me with cleaning and laundry duties as well as caring for our pup and playing with him throughout the day.

 

I also have time to sew new projects I've been eyeing. Or scour the internet/waste time on my phone. Then I stay up really late. I go to bed after Brandon has been out for a few hours and repeat again.

 

I often wake with a headache that I know is from too much sleep. It has wore on me and I am tired (pun intended) of my lazy habits.

 

Don't get me wrong. It's not that I didn't do things that needed to be done around the house. I keep it clean, did the dishes, laundry, and grocery shopped/ran errands. I just never went above and beyond to make my life, or my husbands easier. I didn't make sure that we were on the same page maximizing our time together this off season. Here it is almost gone. Enter major wife guilt. It's a real thing and it sucks. I'm not bringing that with me into the new year.

 

So why wait to change my bad habit for our new adventure. I don't want my time now or in Japan to be spent catching up on Zzz's. I have stock piled so many the last few months I should be good to go. We have only a few more weeks here at home together and I want to enjoy it as much as possible. I can't do that when my head is pounding and I feel physically ill. I surely can't do that when I get up after half the day is already gone.

 

In only four days I feel like I have made huge strides in fixing this terrible habit I created. I have cooked a little extra, slipped in a few workouts and was showered and ready before he even came home from his workout. Seriously a big deal. Then we could ride together for his eye doctor appointment while I grocery shopped.

 

I discovered the key is to be intentional with my time. I know that I have the power to change and I'm going to do just that, and I'll let you know how it continues to go. Hopefully great because I feel happier and healthier already.

 

Lauren

 

2013 - New Beginnings

 

Happy New Year from us!

 

We had a low key new year with shrimp creole and some apple dumplings. We could barely stay awake for the new year but we did and then sealed it with a kiss.

 

Remember that Christmas package from Hoteiosho, well we put them to use last night. Well actually, we faked it for the picture because I wasn't ready to start trying all these new things at once. I am not a seafood person so for me to really like the shrimp creole my mom prepared came as a shock for all of us.

 

I don't have a word or even any resolutions for the new year. But I hope I really embrace all the change and stay open minded to new things coming our way.

 

Lauren

 

Anniversary Surprise 1

I didn't mean to leave you hanging for so long, but I just needed to be away from the blog for a while. Before I was telling you about our anniversary and the sweet surprises my husband gave to me. I have such a thoughtful guy. I know they are hard to come by. Brandon hijacked our wedding photo CD and mailed it to my sister to have her make it into a photo album! I had no idea and was so surprised and happy (I cried) when I opened it. It reminded me that even though all the planning was stressful, having those memories in hard copy to look at everyday is so special to me. Thanks sisters, and awesome husband of mine.

Oh Just Some Things

Let's chat a minute. Right now, I'm snuggled on the couch in my new favorite NASCAR sweatshirt as my freshly bathed pup sleeps beside me. I just made a hot cup of my favorite pumpkin coffee. I have on game 2 of the Cardinals/Washington battle of the NLDS. My other half is gone helping coach a little league game and I find myself extremely grateful for this evening and its simplicity, it's normalcy. 

As more time passes that we are home, the more like a normal marriage I feel we have. This past week we hung pictures in our living room. Most of them were gifts for our wedding which was nearly a year ago, finally some progress. Saturday morning we headed to the flea market, then napped all afternoon and I made a junky meal of macaroni and hot wings and we watched Avengers. Sunday we normally head to church, but this week we headed to my very first NASCAR race and I will tell you I fell in love. It's not like any other sporting event and I'll share more on that this week at some point. 

I felt guilty all weekend about never reopening shop like I said I would on Friday. I am starting to let that guilt slip away. Some how each time I feel ready to try again to make my handmade business work, I get feelings of doubt. I question myself and if I have what it takes to do all of it on my own. The sewing I can do. I can package and ship items. I can even photograph them and list them online. But doing it all is extremely challenging. 

CARDS WIN! The Voice it is. Man I love this show. 

Back to what I was saying. It's hard work and I'm the one to have to do it. For right now, again like I've said before, maybe online selling is not for me. Even though I always think I can do it and talk myself into it, it just never feels right. With Christmas right around the corner there are several local holiday boutiques and I feel like that is where I should spend focus my time. I just hope you all know that if you ever want or need something you've seen before, don't hesitate to ask. 

Finally, our pup. Words can't describe my little fur ball best friend. I flipping LOVE him! I tell him several times a day and I always find myself asking Brandon if he thinks Tag knows how much we love him. I sure hope he knows. I love that he follows me everywhere and even helps with laundry. I prayed for this little guy. As we were searching for a puppy I remember asking for the perfect little dog for our family and I'm positive he is our answered prayer. 

That's all my friends. Check back for thoughts and pictures on Talladega! 

Ants In My Pants

I'm about to cover a lot of ground so if you're not in the mood for a lengthy post or don't care to know what shenanigans we've been up to then this post is NOT for you. That being said, is it to early to say I miss the crazy baseball season? I don't actually, just kidding, but this past week here at home has been more stressful than I thought it was going to be. 

Last October I moved to Alabama. Brandon has a place here, technically it is ours but I still find myself calling it his, so we have a place here in Alabama. It is an older mobile home with no basement or garage. It has been his bachelor pad for the past several years. Remember the camo? Before I moved in last year he put in new kitchen floors, a new refrigerator, stove, and painted the kitchen cabinets. He knew that those were a few of the things that I wanted to change and did them before we got married. Sweet isn't it? I was so grateful. Hello kitchen makeover that required almost zero work on my part. 

We attempted on several occasions to organize and merge our lives often resulting in frustration mostly stemming from wanting to do too much, too soon, in too little of time, and not having a lot of extra space. In the three months we spent at our home after the wedding we were swamped traveling and were never home for more than two weeks at a time. It was hectic. Not a lot got accomplished as far as merging our lives. Now we are back with more time than we have had together the past two off seasons to get our house together.

When we arrived, we found our humble abode had been invaded with ants. I guess they were throwing us a welcome home party. Our moving in was put on hold to tend to the situation. Everything ended up right inside the door until the house could be cleaned and prepped for us to be here. It was frustrating. We also had our new addition with us, one that need constant supervision during this puppy stage. The next four days we spent going through papers, trash,old clothes, the cabinets throwing out almost all the food the ants found, pretty much organizing the whole house except the two spare bedrooms. It was exhausting. 

In the mean time, I had also been attacked by ants. I have never been bitten by an ant before but, I can now say in the last week I have had NINE ant bites on my feet. Not only was I bitten, I'm pretty sure that I'm slightly allergic due to the swelling. I get bit when I take the dog out so from now on I try to wear boots to take him out. The itch drives me crazy. Needless to say, I HATE these stupid ants. Today my pest control man aka my husband put down some poison underneath our home so fingers crossed that will take care of them. At the moment, the kitchen I thought I had organized and put back together has all its items strewn across the counter, for the second time this week. Did you know ants love poptarts even when they are sealed in foil bags? They do. No more poptarts in this house.

Then we have had three plumbing issues, two leaky sinks, and a shower faucet that didn't work. Good thing my husband's best friend's dad is a plumber and took care of us. He takes carrot cake for payment which is awesome! I will gladly make carrot cake for late night house calls any day. Also in case you are wondering, it takes about an hour+ to grate enough baby carrots by hand for three cups. I kept wishing I had a food processor. The next day, I found one in our stack of wedding gifts that haven't been stored in our kitchen yet. For now I'll be thankful for that mini arm workout.

And since I haven't whined enough....all of this is going on with my six a.m.furry alarm clock going off. No, I'm not sleep deprived, we try to take daily naps on the couch even if it's for fifteen minutes. Then, I instagram a photo of this so you think all I've been doing is laying on the couch catching up on zzz's with my sweet pup instead of battling an army of ants and more.

Typically you'll find me with three spray bottles within arms reach. The first is pet friendly Hot Shot ant killing spray. The second is Natures Miracle no mark spray for little Tag's accidents. The third is Bitter Apple no chew spray so our furniture doesn't get chewed to pieces. Go on, come at me, I'm armed. 

Besides getting this antvasion under control, tomorrow I plan on redoing my sewing room. It's getting some fresh paint to cover up the floral  wallpapered wall board that comes in manufactured homes. I'm looking forward to working on some other fun house projects, hanging pictures, a kitchen gallery wall, making kitchen curtains, and also some fun fall decorations. 

{Deeeep breath} 

I feel married for the first time in ten and half months. It's harder than I thought, but... I'm super blessed because my level headed husband hasn't panicked once about any of it or complained when I ask him to fix or take care of something. He is good to me and brings me ice bags for my swollen itchy feet, sexy right? I can't begin to tell you everything he has done in the last week alone to help share these burdens of life.  I. Am. GRATEFUL! Plus at the end of the day when I can look past the stresses to see this, I know my life is pretty darn awesome, ants and all. 

Wow, glad that is all out. I seriously miss blogging so much. Not just writing here, but reading others too. I'm sorry you had to listen to this major vent session so thank you if you're still with me. I already feel better just sharing with you. Hopefully the coming weeks will slow down and I'll be able to get back posting about more fun things like my sewing room redo, cute puppy pictures, recipes, and a whole lot more of our life in the south. I'm excited thinking about it!! Oh speaking of cute puppy pictures... I can't resist. 

LD

The Last 12

A recap of the last 12 days... 

I left Memphis on the 18th planning to return on the 26th after our we had our Ladies' Day Out booth (separate post) on the 25th. Then I was going to stay there for the remainder of the season in hopes that we would be called up in September.

Instead, on the 23rd he called and told me he was getting called up. We were ecstatic. I had been praying for something to happen for us. We just felt in a rut and not really relying on the plan that was already been laid for us.The week before we found a verse that we liked and we used it daily to remind each other there was a better plan. Jermiah 29:11. Sure enough in the days following we got to see that plan. I use the Bible app on my phone and always search quickly for uplifting verses unless there is something that I've remembered. What I hadn't told Brandon was that all the encouraging ones I found and sent him were from a job loss reading plan. It wasn't even in a time of job loss that we needed them just job struggle and they were fitting.

I was super excited because I was thinking this was for the rest of the season and that now all I needed to do was make a trip to Memphis to pack up the rest of our things, sheets, towels, kitchen stuff, etc.  He flew out to Cincinnati and I stayed put at my parents house. We were finally going to be in the same place and hoping for it the rest of the season.

He got to pitch on Saturday after eight days of rest and we'll just say it wasn't his best outing. However in that game it didn't matter they were already losing when he went in. 

Tonight he got the opportunity to pitch again,in Pittsburgh, in a game they were already losing 7-0. He pitched three innings and even got a hit. I'm thankful for the game he had today and the opportunity to redeem himself from his last outing. I know he wanted a chance to show them he deserved to be there. I think he did.

I've been counting down the days until he gets to come home to St. Louis and it was only six more. He would have been back on the 2nd. Instead I receive a text after the game tonight, "And I'm going down." 

It's always hard to understand their moves and not take it personal. Yet again I find myself rolling with the punches.  

Tomorrow I am going to meet my guy in Memphis. I'm going to go to Jerry's for a sno cone on a date with my husband. I'm going to sit and have a nice chat with my lovely baseball girls that I've become so attached to this year. I'll probably get an Icee too. I'm going to pack up our apartment and be a little sad about it. I might even cry when I tell my friends goodbye. Secretly, I'm a teeny tiny bit glad I we get to go back one more time to say good bye. I've found that my heart has actually become a bit fond of Memphis. I think it's because all the fun memories from our first year of marriage have been made there. I think how some day we will share with our kids that we lived there and show them places we remember.

As much as we love being in the big leagues, this year has humbled me and taught me how to be flexible. It has taught me to have faith in the unknown and to find joy, big or small, in each circumstance. I have felt so much love and support from the community I live in and the people that ask about Brandon and tell me they are keeping up with him. It is amazing and I'm so grateful for that. Grateful for you reading this! My family too, sheesh, they are awesome and ALWAYS comforting me. The ups and downs and moving and me coming and going, they've been great and I think learning flexibility also.

Then there is my guy. My never complaining guy. I know I brag on him all the time, but he is the rock in this marriage. Everything I say about him I don't make up. I find him comforting and trying to make me laugh when we get moved when I should be the one comforting him! I'm excited for the few days of memories he made and hopeful he will get recalled soon. Little did I know those verses I had found were already preparing us for the future. It's awesome how things like that work. 

Shameless plug: 

My mom and I have been working together on some new awesome rhinestone apparel like shown! If you're interested or needing some sparkle email us - www.threadexpressions@gmail.com 

Finally a big thank you to all our family, friends, and fans all over the place. 
Y'all are the best!! 

LD

Life Is Good

 

It's hard not to be jealous of everyone on their summer vacations. When is it time for ours? Since February baseball has been controlling our schedule and I'm just about ready for that to not be the case.  In times like these I have to remind myself of something I wrote a year ago to my husband that is still true today.

But you do have a job (thankful) that is going to provide for our future (thank you) that you love playing (bonus for you) and is fun (bonus for us) and you get to wear a uniform (bonus for me) that lets us meet lots of friends (bonus for them). 

LD

Three Years Later

"Will you go steady with me?" 

That is how my sweet boy asked me out three years ago. After I finished  giggling I of course said yes. At the time we couldn't tell anyone we were together. We were breaking the company rules. Three years later we are married and living this crazy baseball life together. My sweet husband has taught me how to be a better person, friend,and follower of Christ. He lives his life for him and it is evident. If I had to pick three words to describe Brandon they would be Man of God. If I could pick a few more I would add humble, compassionate, righteous, giver, and patient. He never seeks approval of man, he chooses to live and serve our God and by doing so he can love me and others with all of his ability.

I have a story that almost brings me to tears to tell you and I know he probably won't like that I did - more evidence of how humble he is. Last week were were driving back from Nashville when we stopped for gas. A woman in a car pulled up and asked where we were from. She proceeded to tell us the story of how a man stole her purse and she didn't have enough money for gas to get back home. She was crying and clearly upset. Brandon immediately offered to buy her some gas when she told us how the police already bought her gas and gave her a tank for the road and that she would just need some money for later on. She offered us her diamond earrings in exchange for some money and asked for our address to send us money when she made it home. He walked over to me and asked what I thought. With the possibility of us both thinking maybe we were getting scammed he opened his wallet without hesitation and proceeded to give this woman some money for gas. We told her to keep her diamond earrings and told her we hope that she would be able to make it home safely. Her appreciation was clear on her face and we knew she was grateful.

If your laughing thinking wow you got one pulled over on you, neither him or I care maybe we did? We will never know. We were giving from the goodness in our heart and if she was lieing and stole from us, that's on her now. My husband may be the only Jesus that woman will ever see. We have NO idea the effect we may have had on her or how we may have changed her life. It amazes me to see my husband live like Jesus and for that I am forever grateful.

He continues to bless me daily with his kindness and I only hope I can make him as proud as he makes me. I can't wait to see where life takes us in the next few years. We have been discussing things lately that NO one will could really believe we are thinking about doing and I know I wouldn't want to go through any of them with someone other than this guy! I hope that by sharing this guy and his heart with you, he inspires you to be a better person too. 

first photo together ever

 spring training 2010/valentines 2010/memphis 2012

nye 2010/ hunting fall 2010/ memphis 2012

 seaworld feb 2012/ fake marriage / spring training 2012

 all star break 2010/ engagement photo/ zbb concert nov 2010

 engagement christmas eve 2010/ blake shelton concert jan 2012

 spring training 2012 / first visit to memphis 2010

 cowboy game 2010 / all star game 2012

first christmas 2011/ honeymoon / mountain vacation nov 2010

Dear Husband,

Thank you for always being patient with me. I know you threaten to leave me often when I'm not ready and I love you for not. Thank you for making me laugh often. I want you to know that I love your accents and I truly miss them when we aren't together. I may have to start taking audio clips of you so I can have them all the time. I've told you before but when we are together I feel so at peace. I know that you are the only one for me and cannot wait for all the crazy adventures we are planning or that are being planned for us. You have changed my life for the better and bring out the best in me. Thank you for always forgiving me when I am not my best self and teaching me how to learn from every experience. Finally thank you for teaching me how to live in the moment. I love you more than I've began to express here. Looking forward to eternity with you. 

I love you!

Our Honeymoon / Virtual Vacation

I was thinking how much baseball has consumed our lives lately and how relaxing a summer beach vacation would be about now. As I was pulling photos for an update post of the last few weeks I came across our honeymoon photos.  What a perfect time to relive it all! 

My aunt and uncle gifted us a week in Cabo for our wedding present. It was awesome! We were especially grateful to have such a nice place to go and relax after the chaotic and exciting baseball season and all the wedding planning. 

We sat through two time share presentations and honestly...we almost got hooked. We told each other before we went to them we were NOT buying a timeshare. Period. They made it look good, real good. We got out of Mexico without owning property though and instead ended up getting some great excursions for a little less than $70 a piece. Steal. We went on a scuba adventure, baja buggies, and jet skiing. The other time we spent eating chips, salsa, and guacamole or other things honeymooners do. My favorite line from the excursion salesmen was "You're on your honeymoon, want to know how I know? Because you look tired and she looks happy." I said that with an accent as I was typing it, I hope you do the same. Made me laugh every time!  We didn't get  a ton of pictures but we took our GoPro video camera and captured our adventures. 

If only we were there now instead of living through these photos...sigh.

LD

No Sugar Coating, I'm Not Willy Wonka

Yikes. I have seen an ugly side of myself this week. After parting ways with Brandon at the airport on Thursday morning I have been in quite a funk. It actually died off about Friday evening but it was ugly while it lasted. I was sad and deflated. How could such a wonderful seven days with my husband leave me feeling like this?

I try to stay positive here on the blog, not to give you the wrong idea but more so to encourage others to be positive. I truly feel I've been honest with you all about how I've been dealing with being a baseball wife and all that comes with it. I have enjoyed the travel, adventure, and the unexpected. I have found myself keeping busy with multitude of things and it hasn't seem bad at all. Until lately. I cracked. 

I was craving more time with him. Another morning to wake up next to each other and I couldn't have it. I was both angry and sad, yet helpless. This is what it looks like. The ugly side. I wanted to crawl into bed and sleep the day away. But at the same time I knew I wanted to change how I felt. I knew that I had overcome these less severe feelings I've had in the past and that I could do it again.

This negativity snowballed. Yes it gets worse. The whole time I drove from Memphis to Missouri I debated back and forth on closing LaurenDarlings. I've been blessed with this gift but I am struggling to figure out how to utilize it in the way I was created to do so. I really enjoy making and creating/sewing different things. The weeks when I am with Brandon I pretty much have to put the shop in vacation mode. I also don't want to spend all my time online networking when I can be looking at his cute face, cooking him dinner, or spending quality time with him. It has left me torn and at this point I haven't figured out how to balance and make both work. Of course he will always come first no question.

When I'm not with Brandon I spend my time sewing. As I just explained, I wasn't sure my heart was in the right place on return from this trip. What was the point, at this point, to keep making anything? I just kept buying more, and making more, and selling less. I'm not concerned with making a profit, I would just like to be able to make back what I put into my shop. But I wasn't, I'm not and that is really discouraging.

I sat at my machine for an hour before I even turned it on, maybe longer. I had a few requests from some people I knew in town asking for various items. I had told them I would try to make those products so that's what I was going to do. I have to say those projects are what helped me out of the slump. I'm grateful for them. I also apologize to those individuals who have been patiently waiting for me to fill their requests. Truth be told I want to keep all the things I made for them. But I won't. 

In the meantime Brandon knew I was in a sad place and that I was missing him terribly. He text me this. 

"P.U.S.H. through it." 

He always has been very simple but that text was exactly what I needed. For those who have never heard this, it's an acronym for pray until something happens. I can always count on him to say the right thing and encourage me when I need it most. 

You, as well as myself, will be glad to hear the slump is over. I prayed for peace and direction and I still am. I miss Brandon dearly but... I am thankful my passion to sew and create hasn't been taken from me. For a minute, I thought it was gone and I would have dealt with it. It was a great reminder to me of how much I actually love sewing.

I can't tell you for sure the direction LaurenDarlings will take. I've decided only this, I'm going to keep making product and use whatever supplies I have on hand without buying new. I will be listing and selling these various items and most likely there may be only one available. Some fabrics I have more of, others I only have a scrap piece, If you love it snatch it up. I will probably make them first available to my Instagram followers because it's my favorite and easiest form of social media. If you're not following me my username is @larnlevydickson. From there I will list them in my storenvy shop - LaurenDarlings. As always you can contact me via email - laurendarlings@gmail.com. 

I know posts that aren't happy, cheery, and full of great photos aren't fun to read but I felt the need to be honest about my feelings and whats been on my heart. My life is easily stereotyped and misconstrued to be luxurious and carefree and I just want you to remember that I'm human too. I will leave you with one happy photo from our trip last week just so we end on a good note.

LD