The Sweet Life

 

Life is sweet y'all and I'm not just saying that because Brandon requested I pick up a chocolate tart last night and he left three fourths of it here with me for the rest of the week. I'm talking sweet, sweet moments of life that come and go to quickly.

 

I had one of those moments today.

 

I was walking up the stairs to wait for the train. It is a busy train station to start with but it was probably like what we call rush hour back home but instead of cars it's mobs of people. I had heard a little voice yell out, 'Amagasaki', and I turned to see a small boy probably three in age. It was strange hearing it for some reason. It was in his voice something different. I didn't think anymore of it.

 

The train comes and everyone piles in. It's not extremely tight, but there is not a lot of room to move. I am standing near the door and in front of me is a mom and her stroller with a baby. The baby starts to get fussy and you can see some of the people on the train start to get agitated. In her attempt to quiet the baby she moves the stroller back just a little bit and on the other side is the most adorable little Japanese boy I've laid eyes on. He has a full round face and longer hair. I quickly remember that is the boy that I heard yelling before the train arrived.

 

He locks eyes with me and this conversation proceeds to happen:

 

Boy: hello (he isn't quite sure about this but he thinks that maybe I can understand English)

 

L: hello (I wave)

 

Boy: WHAT'S YOUR NAME? (waving back to me)

 

L:  *** I didn't say anything because at this point everyone in the area turned to see who he was yelling at***

 

Boy: (He points at me and gives a look) English! USA. What's your name? (he was mad I didn't answer and called me out)

 

L: Lauren

 

Boy: (he tries to repeat it. Then he points to himself) My name?

 

L: (I knew he wanted me to ask him next) What's your name?

 

He tells me his name that I can't remember, but oh I wish I could. He had the biggest smile on his face. I couldn't believe this was unfolding. I've never communicated with anyone on the train and now a three year old starts talking to me, in English! I have to admit I felt really silly. I could have said anything I wanted and most of the people surrounding me on the train would have no idea at all what I was talking about. But here is this toddler communicating with me and having the time of his life. It was almost as if he was just waiting for someone to come along that he could speak to in English. When he saw me he didn't hesitate for one second.

 

The train stops. He looks at me with huge eyes and yells BYE as his mom is giggling and hurrying him along. I watch them all the way off the train and I hear him again yell BYE. He was waiting for me to say bye back but it didn't feel right to yell on a crowded train. I then hear him yell bye two more times, maybe three. I wait to see them pass by out the window and he is looking back at the train for me. I give him a wave and he waves back and again he yells bye.

 

I'm telling you all, life is sweet. My heart was so happy after that it almost burst. This may be silly to you all but I want to remember those few minutes for the rest of my life. Moments like that make me fall a little bit more in love with this country and I don't want to forget them.

A 2012 Highlight

I'll admit this year wasn't crazy exciting. I don't feel like this was my best year or a year that I really lived. This may also be because I hope for really big exciting adventurous things in 2013. But before we skip on to 2013, I will say that my favorite thing about this year was getting our little fur man. You, my little friend, are amazing. I love you dude!!

 

Thanks for making 2012 special for me and Brandon, you're the man!

Lauren

Welcome October

My favorite month is here and we are already four days in. Can we slow it down please? 

There are several things I love about living in the country, my favorite being the quiet. Our pup has allowed me to experience these things in full. Late at night before bed I take him out and get to see the bright stars and open sky. Then early dewy mornings follow with the sunrise and I think I like those equally as much. 

Speaking of country, there is a chance that we will be heading off  to another country next season to play ball. See what I did there? It's a little nerve wracking at the moment but we won't know anything probably for the next month or so. I never ever thought I'd be moving to a foreign country for part of a year but I guess anything is possible. Depending on where we go I could also have the chance to teach English. Um...I picture it going like this. I hold a cup and say cup. Then maybe a book and say book. Hopefully because lets admit, my grammar around here probably ain't so good. What an experience that will be! 

I don't know if it's bad to talk about these things before they happen, but I'm the kinda person that just needs it out there so it isn't huge jaw dropping news the day I say, "Hey we are moving to Japan or Korea." If we go, we go. If we stay, we stay. Just gotta roll with the punches even if that means getting punched out of the country.

So in the meantime, I'll enjoy my American mornings, in the country, in the quiet, while I got them.

Lauren

Delicate Grace

Legends say that hummingbirds float free of time, carrying our hopes for love, joy and celebration. Hummingbirds open our eyes to the wonder of the world and inspire us to open our hearts to loved ones and friends. Like a hummingbird, we aspire to hover and to savor each moment as it passes, embrace all that life has to offer and to celebrate the joy of everyday. The hummingbird’s delicate grace reminds us that life is rich, beauty is everywhere, every personal connection has meaning and that laughter is life’s sweetest creation. - Papyrus

Last night, Brandon and I visited a friend of his families for dinner. On their front porch they have six hummingbird feeders just like the one shown in this photo. Have you ever been in the presence of over 25 hummingbirds? It was a gift, truly a blessing. There could have well been as many as 50 or 60 birds there were to many to count. Brandon and I sat on their porch swing listening to them tell stories competing with the sounds of the birds.

I think we both left feeling refreshed and rejuvenated about life. It took the simplicity of the moments we got to experience together with good company to remind us how simple life can be. 

I want to be like a hummingbird!

LD

Three Years Later

"Will you go steady with me?" 

That is how my sweet boy asked me out three years ago. After I finished  giggling I of course said yes. At the time we couldn't tell anyone we were together. We were breaking the company rules. Three years later we are married and living this crazy baseball life together. My sweet husband has taught me how to be a better person, friend,and follower of Christ. He lives his life for him and it is evident. If I had to pick three words to describe Brandon they would be Man of God. If I could pick a few more I would add humble, compassionate, righteous, giver, and patient. He never seeks approval of man, he chooses to live and serve our God and by doing so he can love me and others with all of his ability.

I have a story that almost brings me to tears to tell you and I know he probably won't like that I did - more evidence of how humble he is. Last week were were driving back from Nashville when we stopped for gas. A woman in a car pulled up and asked where we were from. She proceeded to tell us the story of how a man stole her purse and she didn't have enough money for gas to get back home. She was crying and clearly upset. Brandon immediately offered to buy her some gas when she told us how the police already bought her gas and gave her a tank for the road and that she would just need some money for later on. She offered us her diamond earrings in exchange for some money and asked for our address to send us money when she made it home. He walked over to me and asked what I thought. With the possibility of us both thinking maybe we were getting scammed he opened his wallet without hesitation and proceeded to give this woman some money for gas. We told her to keep her diamond earrings and told her we hope that she would be able to make it home safely. Her appreciation was clear on her face and we knew she was grateful.

If your laughing thinking wow you got one pulled over on you, neither him or I care maybe we did? We will never know. We were giving from the goodness in our heart and if she was lieing and stole from us, that's on her now. My husband may be the only Jesus that woman will ever see. We have NO idea the effect we may have had on her or how we may have changed her life. It amazes me to see my husband live like Jesus and for that I am forever grateful.

He continues to bless me daily with his kindness and I only hope I can make him as proud as he makes me. I can't wait to see where life takes us in the next few years. We have been discussing things lately that NO one will could really believe we are thinking about doing and I know I wouldn't want to go through any of them with someone other than this guy! I hope that by sharing this guy and his heart with you, he inspires you to be a better person too. 

first photo together ever

 spring training 2010/valentines 2010/memphis 2012

nye 2010/ hunting fall 2010/ memphis 2012

 seaworld feb 2012/ fake marriage / spring training 2012

 all star break 2010/ engagement photo/ zbb concert nov 2010

 engagement christmas eve 2010/ blake shelton concert jan 2012

 spring training 2012 / first visit to memphis 2010

 cowboy game 2010 / all star game 2012

first christmas 2011/ honeymoon / mountain vacation nov 2010

Dear Husband,

Thank you for always being patient with me. I know you threaten to leave me often when I'm not ready and I love you for not. Thank you for making me laugh often. I want you to know that I love your accents and I truly miss them when we aren't together. I may have to start taking audio clips of you so I can have them all the time. I've told you before but when we are together I feel so at peace. I know that you are the only one for me and cannot wait for all the crazy adventures we are planning or that are being planned for us. You have changed my life for the better and bring out the best in me. Thank you for always forgiving me when I am not my best self and teaching me how to learn from every experience. Finally thank you for teaching me how to live in the moment. I love you more than I've began to express here. Looking forward to eternity with you. 

I love you!

10 Ways to Encourage Your Spouse

In high school I was voted Most Spirited by my class. I know this isn't any official award or anything to be proud of but I feel that this particular quality is complimentary to being a wife of a baseball player. When you think of someone with spirit do you think of a cheerleader? Hate to burst your bubble but I was never a cheerleader. I had no plan after high school to become one either. Surprise for me, when I said 'I do' I accepted the job as head cheerleader for team B & L. 

One man team..should be cake to cheer on this dude! Well what if your guy starts slipping again and again and again. Not so easy now is it? He has to know that someone believes in him no matter what the score. That someone is me.  [enter leg kick here]

I know that is probably a terrible analogy for the things I'm about to share with you but its the truth. Cheerleaders cheer the entire game. It doesn't matter what the score. They never sit down or quit cheering until the game is over. Well our game isn't close to being over and I have to cheer on my guy. 

So I compiled a list of ways to encourage your better half. If you're the better half then I mean your spouse. This is targeted towards encouraging a man, of any profession, so if you're a man reading this these barely apply to you. Use cautiously. 

1. Prayer. First of all, I know I need help so I'm calling in reinforcements. We are gonna need the whole team on this one. I know prayer isn't for everyone so maybe you write a note of encouragement instead. Usually I like to write them out and email them because we aren't together. This also serves as a reminder for him, and me, that He is in control. It's better to split the burden three ways, than just one. I also do this late at night so it's a nice surprise for him to start the next day. This is my go to and he has never said to me, "wow that made me feel worse." Always a win.

2. Jokes. You can find humor relating to almost any topic here. I know my guy has an awesome sense of humor and he likes to laugh. I'll try several times to get a laugh. If that doesn't work I try something else. It lets him get his mind off whatever it is bothering him, even if that's me. 

3. Gifts. Do not get fancy here. I mean something small. A Hallmark card and candy. None of this American Greetings junk. Just kidding, I'm a little biased to Hallmark. Even handmade will do. I had to mail something to B one time and decided to go the extra mile and send him lots of sweets that are unhealthy for him and a card. He appreciated all the 'sugar' I sent. (In the south kisses are called sugar cute huh?) First line said this.. "Hey, remember that time you left me in New York?" and I included a York peppermint patty. That's Mrs. Most Spirited coming out and maybe a little bit of sass.

4. Space.  If you're having a bad day or something is bumming you out do you always want to talk about it? Respect your other half. If they say they aren't in the mood to talk - let them be. It really probably isn't you at all. If it is you then that isn't my problem. Joking, but honestly let them cool down. You'll get cool points for being understanding.

5. Avoid the subject. For guys, if they don't want to talk about it, they don't want to talk about it. Pretend the situation never happened and he will love you. More than he already does. This is different from space. Space refers to not talking at all, avoiding the subject allows you to still talk, just not about the issue.

6. Date Night. Can't go into details here but dazzle him with your wits. Use your best assets. You feel me? I'm a married woman - don't judge.

7. Poems. I like to rhyme and I'm pretty good at it. Plus its cute and catchy. One time we (me and my little bro) turned a rhyme into a rhythm and actually wrote a song for Brandon. That will never be on the blog ever, I'm sorry. Unless we start practicing again.. Ol' Cotton Dickson is taking the mound, removes his cap as the anthem sounds....NO its never going to be on the blog. 

8. Songs. No, not one you wrote but maybe the lyrics to a song that is talking about something you feel you're going through. I can't tell you the number of times I text him telling him a good song to listen to because of the lyrics. If you can't think of any then I recommend Sexy and I know It by LMFAO. Two for one here jokes and song. 

9. Food. Did I already use this? No that was candy. So I like to bake treats for my guy as well.  Cookies. Brownies. The new cookie brownie. He doesn't complain. It definitely never hurts the situation. *Note if you are encouraging him on a diet journey food probably shouldn't be your weapon of choice unless its a cheat day. 

10. Be there.  Ask yourself am I hurting or helping the situation? Don't decide now that this is the time to nag him for this and that. Pick up the slack for your guy. Pick up your guy, not physically but emotionally, be there for him to lean on if he needs. If not.. still be there.

Dear husband, this ones for you. I really always try to make your life easier especially if you feel that things aren't going your way. I hope that all of these methods I've used, and now shared with the world, have helped you in some way. Also I'd like to say if it would make you happy I will put your song on the blog but that is last resort to cheer you up. I also feel that we need new team uniforms in all camo because I know that would be your wish. (That was me using a joke to make you laugh.)  - xo xo your #1 cheerleader. 

What do you think? Do these work for you and do you have any I'm missing?

LD 

Sunset

The sun has set on another weekend but I hope you enjoyed celebrating the awesome Dad's in your life! 

I promised myself when I found out we would be living in Memphis that I would try to take in more of the city. After being here since Tuesday I tried a new restaurant downtown and went to the river twice. It was so pretty the first time that I had to take Brandon the second. We watched the sunset together and took some silly photos. I love that he is an outdoorsy guy and we can go enjoy these simple blessings together.

I know it isn't a huge accomplishment and doesn't really add many explore Memphis points but its a start. Although I'm not thrilled that I won't see my guy again for two weeks I'm looking forward to taking my favorite little tykes swimming, getting some sewing in, and jewelry making. I've been seeing some awesome beaded jewelry lately and have gobs of beads at my parents that I got years ago. I think its finally time to put them to use, we'll see. If you've seen or have any great inspiration - send it my way please.

LD

How I Do It

Hey friendlies. How is your weekend going? I've been thinking a lot the past few weeks after having many conversations with friends about how crazy, stressful, exciting, sucky, awesome, unpredictable this lifestyle is and can be. The most frequented question/comment was along the lines of How do you do it?/ I don't know how you do it.


Well today I'm going to tell you. I really have put a lot of time and thought into this. When asked on spot my answers were I just do, It's all we've known, and I don't know. While those are actually accurate and true, I've ventured a little deeper into my mind and heart to figure out how exactly how I do it. Now I have an answer that has a bit more substance.


In the very beginning of our relationship, I mean the very beginning, Brandon and I became friends on Facebook. We communicated through messages and nothing else. We worked at the same place and saw each other every day but we never talked in person. There was a connection from the get go without actually being together. Four days after we first hung out, he left town for a road trip. I wrestled in my mind if when he got back things would pick up where they left off. Also looming in the back of my mind was the fact that at the end of the season, I was packing my bags and heading north and he was heading south.  It was no secret from day one that we would have to learn how to be together without being together. 


This August we will celebrate being together for three years.  At some point in each of the three years we have dealt with long distance. So.. how do I do it?

Love + Trust + Independence

We'll start with love, because they say, first comes love...


Love. Everyone believes love means something different.  I'm not an expert on love but I seriously believe that love is what the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13:7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. ALL, not some things - job loss, promotions, death, births, moves, in-laws, financial trouble, you name it - love can take care of it. The day we got married we committed to one another forever, until we die, that we will love one another through it all, not through some of it.


Trust. I can't keep tabs on my guy especially when he is half way across the country but I don't need to. I trust him. I can't explain to you something so personal between him and I. It's just there. I know based on how he was raised and his faith that I can trust him 100%. My husband doesn't drink, at all. I also choose not drink with the exception of once or twice a year and it is literally one drink. I don't want to worry about his choices being influenced by alcohol and he doesn't want to to worry about mine. It's just our understanding with one another. He by no means tells me what to do. We just choose to not go out of our way to make our relationship harder than it needs to be. 


Independence. I am not a stage 5 clinger, unless we are in the same room together and then I have to have some part of me touching him. I spend a lot of time on my own. I mean a lot. All my fellow baseball girls can relate to this and it's no exaggeration. For a seven o'clock game, my guy shows up to work around one, even earlier if he has to get in a workout. The game isn't usually over until ten and then tack on time for eating/shower/post game arm exercises. By the time we go to bed, its about two or three. We sleep in, most the time, unless we have errands then start the whole process over. Road trips are usually four days or eight/nine day trips, some in the big leagues are 12 day trips.


Anyway back to the independence... I can't rely on my man to entertain me. This is his job and it keeps him busy. I was never one of those girls that was afraid to do things on my own like go to the bathroom. The only reason I need you is if I run out of toilet paper. Even if I do I can still manage on my own. If I'm in a new city, I'll go places by myself, walk around, explore, think, pray, thank God for all my blessings. That was one of the coolest things in NYC was walking around wherever I wanted. I even did it twice in STL while I was there living in the hotel. I also have my own hobbys. I love sewing and have even skipped a weeks worth of games because when he was at work that is when I could get stuff done. I even started my own little business to run and manage. I also like to blog, which is great for you. Even though I spend a lot of time on my own I like to keep myself busy so I don't realize I'm alone.


I can't tell you I don't get bored, or lonely, or sad that we can't be together. I can't tell you that we don't fuss at one another when we can only text or talk on the phone. What I can tell you is that we love and trust each other through it all and I have managed to maintain my independence and support him at the same time. While writing, I realize this post can apply to pretty much any relationship not just ours. You're welcome for the free advice and you can take it or leave it. Either way I won't be offended. 


LD

Last Things Thursday - III

Hello friends! It's been a while, like usual. You know I'm glad I have this online journal to help me keep track of where I am when and how I am feeling about it. Tonight....I'm coming to you from Memphis Tennessee. Yep - we're back! I honestly can't explain to you how it works, why,when, and who decides this. But I'll tell you that its not me and it's not my husband. We are just rolling with the punches best we can. If you're new and catching up with me maybe start waaay back here, here, or here. 


Today I'm linking up with Jenna like most Thursdays... who also just opened a new shop [Neon & Nude] check it out! 


The Last Thing I ...


ate - Mexican with my man. Last night was the first time I've seen him in TWO weeks. If you ask me, that's two weeks to long for these newlyweds. 

cried about - I was at my parents the last two weeks and our dog Rudy of 14 years is having some neck problems. He apparently had an episode of some sort and was not eating/drinking for a few days. I cried with him thinking about all the great times we've had together and that he was gonna be leaving us soon. I love this pup and am not looking forward to the day we have to say goodbye. Fortunately he is doing much better but he made me realize how much I love him. 

daydreamed - that Brandon and I went out on the lake fishing for the whole day. Hopefully we can do this when he has a few days off in July.


cooked - um, I seriously can't remember. I did pick up some cookie dough from the store so maybe I'll bake some cookies this week.


sewed - I have had a few orders for the new camera straps. Since I'm only visiting my guy until Monday - I didn't pack ANY crafting stuff. I  feel lost with out it to be honest but that's okay. I'll get over it. Plus I really feel like I have no clue which direction my shop is taking so it's better to have some time away to think/brainstorm/plan.


sang along to - Sunday, my sister, two brothers,two of their friends, and I went to the Brothers of the Sun Tour featuring Tim McDreamy McGraw and Kenny Chesney. I love country music and good looking cowboys. The only thing that could have made it better is if my cowboy was with me. Also Grace Potter opened for them and was awesome her album came out Tuesday - must buy! I love up and coming artists..it reminds me of my guy fighting to make his dream come true. Which also reminds me of Dave Owens and that you should go check him out here and his sweet amazing supportive wife here. 

laughed about - ecards. I love them and they are true, mostly. 

Alyssa ... I'm talking to you.

needed - was the weekend away with my family. Thursday I met with two of my close friends from college for dinner and to catch up. Then Friday - Monday I was in Kansas City. We went to the pool, caught a movie, rocked out at the concert, and then did some shopping.  I really enjoyed a weekend away from the crazy baseball life. Mostly I enjoyed the pool. I love the pool.

thought about social media - is that it's AWESOME. I seriously have been counting down for a wedding of someone I've gotten to know through Instagram. I know normally this would be creepy but it's not and I will totally meet them someday even if it's when I crash the wedding on the 23rd. If I haven't told you before I LOVE Instagram [larnlevydickson] and the Holden family. 

did spur of the moment - pulled off the road on my four hour drive to watch the sunset. This photo has a filter, but it doesn't matter this is how gorgeous it looked to me! I love that sometimes I stop to enjoy things like this. 

don't want to think about - leaving my man. Two weeks away was way too long not seeing each other. I can't even think that we are going to do this again from June 18 - July 4. Must get in lots of hugs and kisses now! But it does give us the opportunity for texts like this. It also reminds me of the beginning days of our relationship which is kinda cool. Not cool enough to make me forget I have to go to bed and wake up alone. Oh well - thankful for technology. 

did that made myself laugh - I'm silly what can I say. This is truly how I feel. Do you agree?

YOU did to make me happy - was to stop by my blog. Thank you and if no one has told you today you are awesome and can do whatever you put your mind to! Fight for you dreams and never stop.

We've Moved ... Again!

We've moved!! I was sitting in the coffee shop catching up on some blogging and reflecting on the previous days events. My husband had just left for an eight game road trip the day before. I was planning on going home for the week while he was away, but for some reason I decided to stick around Memphis for a few days before I went home.

As I was sitting there my dad called me to tell me that one of the pitchers had gotten hurt during the game. I was simultaneously texting my husband joking about getting a flight out to Vegas where their first series was. Unfortunately tickets were 900 and not budget friendly. For fun, I looked up flights to LA because that's where the St. Louis team was currently playing and thinking just maybe he would get called up. 

A little over an hour later he text me saying he was flying to LA tomorrow (Friday). As I was sitting there hopped up on espresso I didn't know what to do first. Do I pack? What do I pack? Do I get on a plane out west? I waited to hear from him again around midnight, he was on west coast time.

We talked and finally decided to pack it all - our entire apartment and I would just meet him in STL Monday. At one in the morning I began washing dishes and packing. I've never  been more frustrated as I sat there feeling like a dum dum trying to pack a PS3 that I could not get in the box! I went to bed around four am exhausted. I woke up at eleven and knew I had a daunting task ahead of me. I know I've told you before but I stink at packing the car and always rely on either Brandon or my dad to do it for me.

But being that I was completely alone, I had to rise to the challenge. My mantra for the day was 'just do it.' If there was a form of initiation for mlb wives -- I feel like this is it. Sadly, this will probably happen to me many more times in our baseball future but it's so worth it for the outcome.

I carried things to the truck one by one. I had to make sure to always have my keys, to get back in the building and to lock the truck between each trip. I think I easily made 30 trips.

Here I am, sweaty, tired, and happy to be heading north.

We left the majority of our things at my parents house an hour away and have been staying at a hotel downtown since Monday. I had a bit of time home over the weekend and I got to spend some time with my favorite kids. Other than that I've been at our hotel enjoying this special time with my guy and some with out him.

Brandon has pitched in two game so far, doing great in both. Here he is on tv. Somedays it doesn't seem real. I still get nervous for him. I do because he doesn't. I don't understand it, but I guess if you've been doing something your whole life it seems natural.

Saturday May 19th - pitched the 8th

Thursday May 24 - pitched one out in the 4th with bases loaded and the 5th

 

I didn't mean to leave you all hanging all week. I have brought nothing with me for the week except clothes and the necessities, which didn't include my computer or any sewing/crafting paraphernalia. I did have to venture our yesterday and make an appearance at a fabric store so I don't completely lose touch with my inner seamstress.

It is such a joy for me to be watching Brandon's dreams come true. Thankfully to him and baseball I get to experience some pretty cool things. I am going with him for part of his upcoming road trip. Our first stop is in Atlanta which is the closest he will ever play to home. Then we are heading to New York. Orignially I wasn't going to go but decided to take the opportunity. You only live once. Neither of us have ever been so we are pretty excited.

P.S. If you haven't checked it out yet...I'm giving away one of my vintage clutches here along with some other great goodies from some other fabulous bloggers!

A Real Secret

I use this blog for many things. It is a place I document milestones in our life. I share recipes. I tell stories. I let you preview things I've sewn or crafted. I hope that you get to see who I really am. I probably share more here, than I do in real life. Maybe more than is necessary. I have felt for almost a year now to share something with you that is really personal and every time I try to write it, I decide that it isn't something that needs to be shared. With summer temps being here, I am reminded of this thing daily. I feel that maybe if I share, I can finally accept it and move on. Maybe I won't, but I'll at least be one step closer. 

I've struggled for years now with skin that breaks our more times a year than a bar fight. I have let this, my outward appearance, keep me from so many things.

Years ago, I struggled with acne on my face. In college, I remember taking natural medicine and my roommate and friends thought I was crazy. I tried Proactiv. I made several dermatologist appointments and spent money on almost any and every type of 'skin clearing remedy' anyone recommended. I skipped going out because make-up just wouldn't cover it. I worked at a restaurant where people always saw my face. I also worked at a bank where again my face was exposed. One time I was asked if I got hit by a truck because I had a very large broken out area on my chin. As an 18 year old girl, how do you respond to this? My parents supported me and probably felt helpless because they knew their child was hurting on the inside and there was no quick fix. I was picked at by my brothers and sister but I know they were deep down trying to help ease the situation. We use comedy in our family so much that I wish now I wouldn't have gotten so offended. And I apologize to them if I ever made fun of them for any reason. I had one serious boyfriend before I met my now husband. Sadly, I can't remember him ever calling me beautiful or pretty. My friends knew it was a sensitive subject and more than not it was never talked about, unless of course I brought it up.

That's been years ago, and since my skin has cleared..on my face. Which leads me to my back. 

On my wedding day, I put this fear aside. I knew that not ONE person would say anything to me about it. I felt beautiful and flawless the way every bride should on a couple's special day.

Other than that, I've been hiding it for years. I currently have my hair as long as it's ever been to help cover it up. I pick out only clothes that will not leave my skin exposed. I skip out on invitations to the pool or beach, and often give those who invite me a lame excuse instead of telling them why I don't want to go. I've missed out on way to many pool dates with my sister to count and she graciously understood and we did other things.

I've allowed this to control me. I'm ready to face that fear or at least admit to you that I'm not perfect and that I have insecurities. I know that it isn't going to be easy. I'm going to put on tank tops or dresses and at the last minute change my mind and put on something to cover it up. But here is the thing, it really doesn't matter. 

This is me, this is who I am. I know with my whole entire heart, I would never lose a friend over this and this would never interfere with making new friends. They are going to love me for me, not for my skin. I should know better than this. I can however lose friends because of an ugly heart, an awful attitude, being negative, saying hurtful things, lieing, gossiping, and not being true to myself. 

I encourage you to look inward for the real source of beauty each and everyone of us have been given.

1 Peter 3:3-4 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 

Also, a quick special thank you to my encouraging and loving husband who makes me feel beautiful every single day. 

Thursday Things

Hello darlings! How has your week been going? First I apologize for my last post. It was such a cop out. I decided I was slacking on my photo taking and have some new probably meaningless things in my life to share with ya. Here we go.

Last weekend was dog day at the park and they have puppies there for adoption. Brandon text me that morning, knowing I was still running a {puppy} fever and told me it'd be best for me not to come. I didn't listen and fell in love with this cute face and yummy puppy smell, not the pee kind, the good kind.  Ends up one of the guys that works at the field adopted him and he is in the hospital with a disease. Thank God I walked away cause I would not want to be dealing with that heartache and an 80lb dog in a few months. And so the fever is gone. Gone gone. I want to be able to give my pup full undivided attention from the beginning. October is when we are getting a puppy! A small dog. It's so fun thinking that this is the puppy our kids will grow up knowing. 

We had an early game this week and headed to see The Five Year Engagement. It was very funny. Then I thought, as I was waiting for the mister to pump gas, that this leftover popcorn  bag would actually make a really cute clutch. It'd had to be the right material and fabric but I think it could be kinda fun. 

I made some deliveries this week. I said it before but I'll say it again. This is my favorite part of making and selling my craft - the happy people on the receiving end. So thank you for all the recent orders and I hope you're happy on the other end. 

Ironically I ran into all these jelly rolls at Tuesday Morning for super cheap but I walked away. I'm starting to have a little bit of will power. Ok fine I bought them, only two, and on the way home I passed another location and returned them knowing I wouldn't be using them.

New favorite meal French Fried Onion Spaghetti Bake. You can find the recipe here.

It.is.ahhhhmazing!

I'm sponsoring Sew Caroline the blog this month. She is incredibly adorable and I feel like she can teach me to sew through the internet. I know we will meet some day hopefully sooner rather than later. We can drink coffee and sew, all the live long day! I've been inspired to try sewing some new things, clothes mostly, including this 10 min maxi skirt. It was a success but I need a slip to wear under because its kinda see through and leaves the color of my undies to no one's imagination. Oops. 

If you missed last nights Insta - giveaway... I'm sorry. I may only do this the first Wednesday of each month but we'll see. I made this new headwrap yesterday. Maybe you will see some of these in the shop at some point, maybe. Not only am I trying to get OUT of the yoga pants everyday, I'm trying to make an effort to wear some fun accessories. I'd say I'm getting better day by day. Although it is fun to run errands in gym shorts and T-shirt, looking nice has been more fun. I think I'll keep trying. 

The big two-five is coming up this Saturday and I treated myself to a little gift. You can check out some of her other pieces here if the cross isn't your thing. I'm loving it and it only just came in the mail today! 

Hope your having a wonderful week.