Round Here

For starters, Brandon is gone on a long road trip and I thought about going along but with the heat I just decided I'll tag along in September. Also maybe by then I will have adjusted my wardrobe to have enough outfits that fit instead of Brandon's gym shorts. Stylish, I know.

As of today we are in the 19th week of this roller coaster ride of pregnancy. I must say that with each day I'm loving it more and more. Especially since I've been feeling the baby moving around. Mostly late in the evening (a little night owl like me) or after a big meal.

16w3d/17w5d/18w6d

While that number is slowly counting up, we are also counting down until we COME HOME! I think its around 56 days until the last regular season game, not that I keep track. We already started trying to make some travel arrangements home to save on expenses but since we don't know for sure what day we can leave nothing is final. Sure is exciting talking about it though!

Besides that I've been working on clothing projects for a friend. Which entails borrowing a sewing machine, which is absolutely fine by me. Here are a few of the things I've been making. I thought for sure after five months I would lose some of my skills but I actually think not sewing for that long made me better. I don't want to do it again, just looking at the bright side.

 

 

 

I know it's a bit ridiculous but, the bear was all I had and I needed to check for size. It feels SO good to be making stuff again. Plus I am getting in some good practice before our own little one arrives, especially if it is a she.

 

And that is all that goodness happening around here. Growing a baby and sewing with a little bit of baseball and lot of missing our dog!

 

 



Full Fan Experience

I could kick myself because I don't sit and write things as close to when they happen and then the details get lost in the hustle and bustle of the week. For instance, last Sunday at Brandon's game I had a very interesting and blog worthy post to write. In fact as the game was playing out, I was writing the post in my head because I knew those were memories I wanted to capture. It would probably be easier to video blog this one but I'm not and it's a little lengthy so hang on.

 

Sunday: I mentioned before game days are a little hectic and this week I wanted to make sure I left the TV on the right channel. I made my train, even a little early, collected my ticket and made my way to my seat. I usually don't go to the games unless Brandon is pitching so I have only had less than a handful of times where I have had to locate my seat but I'm getting better. When I arrived at what my ticket said my seat was it was already occupied. Back home I would have sat in an empty seat close by but I didn't want to run into a Japanese person who woke up on the wrong side of the bed ready to chew an American's head off so the attendant helped me and moved the guy out of my seat. He apologized, several times, "Saw re!" Roll your 'r' go on and try it.

 

It was an aisle seat so him and his three friends were in and out in front of me several times, all with the sorrys and samisens. While they were gone, only one of his pals stayed behind so the seat between us was empty except for the guys jacket and his cheer sticks. The buffaloes were up to bat and this is the time when the cheer sticks get used the most. So no need to be wasting perfectly good cheering instruments, I stole them. His buddy then started laughing and put his finger to his mouth meaning, I'll keep your secret.

 

 

When he returned, he looked confused for a second and then quickly realized I was as thief. I tried to return them and he threw up his hands pushing them back on me. Okay fine... I'll keep them for now.

 

Then he asked if I liked the Orix Buffaloes and I explained that I was married to the pitcher. When I say explained I mean got out my phone and used the three Japanese apps I had to get the point across. Their eyes lit up and then they asked if they could have their picture taken with  me. Sure, sorry guys but you just had your picture taken with a normal, nobody, American girl. Jokes on you. Then the questions started, which I couldn't understand so we spent the entirety of the game, both using modern technology to try and communicate with each other. There was so much misunderstanding but understanding at the same time.

 

Then they start getting food out of their cooler and without any hesitation offered me their snacks. Skeptical me couldn't just try it I had to ask what it was and then we had more difficulty translating. It had hit me earlier that week that it was time to start fully embracing the fact that we live in Japan, food and all and this would be my first true opportunity to test that out.

 

Their first snack was chicken...with a bone in it. Lord help me, I already tired the raw egg, now I'm supposed to each chicken with a bone in it. So, as I promised myself, I picked the smallest piece of chicken and bit straight into it. They quickly began apologizing as the look on my face must have given away that I didn't particularly care for it. There were no napkins and I didn't have anything to dispose of it with so I took a huge drink of water and swallowed it, whole. Their next snack I immediately recognized. They told me chicken but I could see that it was cooked skin. It was chicken skins and I gave myself a free pass that time because I had just eaten a chicken bone y'all.

 

I think I needed to get the chicken bone thought out of my mind so I reached into my purse and got out a bag of pita chips my mom had sent in an AWESOME care package a few weeks back. My new found friend asked, "cookie?" "Chip," I said. We had lots of one word conversation but chip didn't mean anything to them. As kind as they had been to offer me their food, I returned the favor. I guess they liked them, I don't know? They then asked me if I made them. I told them my mom sent them from back home. Then they thought my mom lived here too and more phone translation came in. I kept my chocolate covered pretzels for the train ride home I was not even about sharing those. Sorry guys.

 

The game was passing pretty quickly and each time Brandon did something well his new fans started cheering super loud. They told me that they are his new fans and they will always support him. I believe the exact translation on his phone said, " Tell your master that we always are in support of him," or something close.

 

I had seen them play a game of rock paper scissors which I had assumed they were trying to figure out who was going to buy their next round of beers. When they returned they had actually went to get the celebratory seventh inning stretch balloons and before I knew it he was handing them out to all of us, including me.

 

Let me just say a few things, I had been wanting to buy my own set of cheer sticks because my hands were getting a little stingy the first few games from clapping but I just hadn't. The fact that I got to use a pair was kind of a highlight for me. I felt like a true Japanese baseball fan with them. However, the balloon tradition I was FINE not participating in. But, when my new super kind friends showed up with a balloon for me, I knew that I was not going to be able to get out of this one.

 

They even gave a balloon to the cutest little Japanese kid that kept climbing up the stairs towards us. It was so cute. Japanese = friendliest people ever.

 

Not only was I blowing up a giant sperm shaped balloon they were laughing at me because I couldn't blow it up the whole way. I know, shocker, me lacking hot air.  They cheered me on saying, "one more time," about six times and at this point I think everyone around us was laughing.

 

 

 

There I did it. I can officially say I've participated and hope that it is the last time. Or maybe secretly I loved it and want to do it again every game, but probably not. :)

 

And then they got out more food. I still tried my hardest to ask first before I tried but at this point the translation was not getting me anywhere and I just caved to trying something new again knowing I could always just swallow it whole like before. The one guy told me all the food he brought his mother prepared and sent with them which I thought was pretty cool.

 

 

I opted for the bean looking item. It tasted pretty good. Still not sure what it was. I tried it and I liked it and that was probably enough for me that day. There was another suspicious looking piece that I wanted to try, the square pieces in picture, but I didn't want to ruin a good thing.

 

 

We had to take several more photos them telling me I made their day and they will, "always have memory of day." I tried to return the set of cheer sticks that I stole but they refused telling me to keep them so that I had a memory of that day.

 

It was quite the fan experience and I love that I got to sit by such supportive, friendly, and fun fans and I'm super excited that I finally have my OWN cheer sticks. 



Game Day

I'm officially a week behind on updates but will attempt to get better.

 

Last Sunday our day started with an email from our tax preparer asking where some time sensitive documents were. Turns out it was no big deal but put us into a frenzy until we figured out later that afternoon that everything was okay.

 

Trying to figure the tax situation out, I missed my train by a few minutes. This was a whole new route for me that included transferring to the subway. I knew that I could do it but I felt extra pressure trying to get there on time.

 

I have been setting up the computer weekly for those to enjoy the game back home. I try to leave as late as I can but early enough to make it to the game. The last time my hangout cut off because of inactivity and so I try to get the viewers as much of the broadcast as I can. Until last week when I left the TV on the wrong game.

 

I'm going to go ahead and say that sometimes game days are more stressful for me than Brandon.

 

The stadium they play at is really nice, fresh grass, and outdoor. It was a little chillier than I prefer but I wasn't complaining, until after the game when I had NO clue where to find Brandon and was without a special pass that I've been given the few times at the dome. I bought a cup of coffee that was awful but served as an excellent hand warmer.

 

The game itself was not bad. They ended up losing 7-6. Brandon got the no decision and pitched five and two thirds innings giving up three runs. The wind was going crazy which wasn't good at this hitters park. And it didn't just blow, but it blew in every direction.

 

I'll be honest I was glad to get home Sunday evening and sit on the couch. Little did we know the crazy events that would unfold the rest of this week back home between the Boston Bombings and the West, Texas explosion. It is so strange waking up to news like this and no less heartbreaking thousands of miles away.

 

Wishing everyone back home a relaxing weekend free of violence, animosity, and fear.

 

 

 

 

 

First Home Game

Today was the third and final game of the opening series at home. Brandon pitched today and led his team to a 10-0 victory capturing his second win of the season.

 

 

Viewing Party

I just sent our families to bed. It is a little after two in the morning  in the states and we just finished watching Brandon's game together. Now before you ask for the site to watch the game.. there isn't one, or there could be but I have no clue what or where it is.

 

I am not tech savvy at all but got the wild haired idea that I could set my computer in front of the TV then video chat with family back home broadcasting the game.

 

It worked. With a few quirks and minor technical difficulties, both my family (Tag included) and Brandon's got to watch and witness his first start and win of the season. Not to mention a few extra supportive friends of ours. I truly believe he did so well today because he knew he had support back home watching and cheering for him.

 

If that wasn't fun enough, let me tell you it was, then we got to hear this guy and his post game interview and I quickly recorded it for you all to hear. I was beaming from ear to ear I was so happy for him. I love him more and more each day and when he is happy, I'm happy!

 

I can't explain how grateful we are for this opportunity. It continues to bless our socks off. Thank you, THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts for your unending support.

 

 

 

 

Randoms from Week 4

Hello, slacker here. I do not have much to report on our end.

 

The season has officially started -- YAHOO!

 

 

 

I have turned into an excellent chef. Homemade chicken noodle soup. Minus the noodles but over rice was just as tasty.

 

 

 

I made a delicious tomato cream sauce pasta to celebrate opening night. I also drank coke from a wine glass because I am fancy like that AND I have been giving in to the soda cravings. I need something American in my life. Although it's not like it used to be and makes my stomach a little crazy. I also discovered that Pizza Hut delivers to our building so THAT is good news. Can I get an Amen? Pizza party next week for sure!

 

 

 

Forgot this awesome video from the game last week. It was a city rivalry game between the Hanshin Tigers and the Orix Buffaloes. Way more Tigers fans.. oh well. This is the 7th inning stretch ritual here. No singing of take me out to the ball game, instead these balloons are just as fun, right? Nothing like celebrating with balloons that look like male reproductive cells. This was post game after the Tigers claimed victory.

 

 

 

Also missing everyone this Easter holiday but found a way to still hear the good news online. You can watch here if you just can't get out of bed some Sunday mornings. I have heard there is a church some of the other Americans ball players that live in our building go to so I'm going to do more research to find out where and when. Just another way to meet and make some friends!

 

 

 

In other news I am three movies deep in the Pirates of the Caribbean series. Not sure why I've never seen any of them but figured now is as good of time as any to get on board. Pun intended. Slightly obsessed with becoming a pirate, not really but Keira makes it look fun. And because I can't just sit still and watch a movie I started another cross stitch project.

 

 

 

I have one sightseeing location on my list while Brandon is gone mostly for the photos (and shopping) and I haven't figured out which day is going to be best to go. I would like to be there at night but slightly afraid of getting disoriented, not lost. Perhaps I'll go twice, once during the day and once at night. Good plan right?

 

Okay sorry I have no raw egg stories but everyday can't be that adventurous. If you decided to go out to eat this weekend and enjoy some fine American cuisine please dedicate a bite or two for me. Oh and if you know how to order a pizza in Japanese please email me - you'd be my hero.

 

Hope you all have a Happy Easter!

Sumo Continued & Baseball Game Two

Truthfully, I feel like that was a cheap way of getting out of posting, using lots of video and pictures. This morning I was a bit frazzled trying to make sure I had all cameras charged, internet devices, phones, lenses ready to go for the game, and to make sure there was space on all devices for pics/video. Plus I've been putting off chores around here and felt like I had to do everything at the same time. I really wanted to post because it had been a few days so I threw something together rather quick.

 

About the Sumo match, did you watch the videos? What did you think?! We thoroughly enjoyed it. I apologize for our commentary during the match, I believe I used the words atomic wedgie and for that, I'm sorry. I also forgot my favorite part or actually least favorite part but blog worthy none the less. I had heard several times before we came over here about the bathrooms and how they are often a hole in the ground and you have to squat. Yesterday we made it to the gymnasium and of course we all hit the Johns before we found our seats. TMI? Yes, probably so but it's the culture and I don't want to leave anything out. (Just wait until I have nothing to write about and we discuss the bidets). Back to the story, I had used the facility at the baseball stadium last week and it was normal so I assumed these stories I had been told were not quite accurate. As I walk in, mind already thinking about the match and not about toilets, I find a hole in the ground.

 

I panicked. There was no where to set my purse, or hang my coat, and I even questioned if I could hold it for another three or so hours. Then you realize you have to do what you do and move on with it. When I told the boys they laughed. Oh America, you spoil me with commodes and things.

 

After the match we went to a local famous Ramen shop and it was quite tasty. I had the hardest time with my chopsticks. I did catch several Japanese onlookers staring but I'm hoping it was just because there were three Americans, not because I couldn't get a bite of noodles to my mouth.

 

Again, my apologies for leaving out these fun (funny) details. I'm doing my best.

 

_____________________________________________________________________________________

 

Brandon is away for the evening. They had a banquet for the fans or something so I headed home as soon as he finished pitching. I wish that I could edit video and turn this into an awesome highlight reel but it's just me and the video camera so you'll have to take what I give you. 

 

 

I never ever do this but... I thought for a change of pace, lets give it a shot. Sorry about my southern twang I have NO idea where I picked that up. The reason the girl behind me is wearing a mask is because illness prevention. You see tons of people wearing them and it really isn't a bad idea.

 

 

 

It's a bit lengthy and as soon as I cut off the video he strikes out the third out. The last batter you see is Bryan Lahair former Chicago Cub. I needn't say more.

 

 

So today was fun until the lady at the grocery store didn't give me any bags. I didn't know how to ask for more and when she pointed to them I shook my head yes. Apparently that isn't enough go get more than one bag. I started stuffing groceries in my purse and I bought a sweatshirt from the team shop so I threw some stuff in there to. By the time I made it to the 12th floor I couldn't feel my fingers from the two bags I did have. But those are the little things and I shouldn't complain.

 

Not sure what is on tap for the rest of the week except Brandon leaves on a WEEK long road trip Thursday. I'm hoping any (all) of my American friends and family want to have Skype (larn.levy) dates or Google hangouts (HINT HINT) I'll even stay up late to see all of you lovely people! I'm going to be lonely so help a girl out. I need to know what is going on back home. 

 

Birthday shout out to our Mema back in Alabama --- Happy Birthday we love and miss you!

Day 2 & Numbers 1-10

Good afternoon America! It's Wednesday morning here and I just woke up. We had breakfast and Brandon already left to catch his train. We already have a good routine started. I am getting used to being a morning person and it works out pretty nicely with everyone's schedule back home. I think I told you but its 15 hours ahead and the quick way to calculate is add three hours to your time (Missouri/Alabama) and then its the opposite of your day or night. Make sense?

Yesterday I caught the train by myself and again I can report I have no disastrous story of getting lost but it's coming one day, its inevitable. I arrived at the stadium and one of the team's translators, Yohei, was waiting for me to help me get my ticket and find my way. For all the baseball wives out there if you think its hard with a new team learning the ropes of where you get your ticket and enter imagine it with a language barrier. I'm so grateful that I had some help and that everyone here is SO friendly.

 

Today I have lots of pictures and some video for you. The team plays at the Kyocera Osaka Dome. As you can see it is really nice. For spring training games you can sit wherever you like and it wasn't really busy yesterday hence the many open seats. The vendors are mostly girls and they wear the cute little dresses, much more appealing than the beer guys in America.

 

Line up

 

Here below we have the cheering section. There was one for each team and it sounded like a parade the. entire. game. When I got there even the players were all yelling out. I don't know how Brandon pitched through it but he says he can't hear it. The cowbell type noise you hear is the man next to me. They have these plastic tubes that they beat together. I'm sure I'll end up with a pair eventually. I love the enthusiasm and I can't wait till this place is packed out. I'm also going to learn the chants!

Cheering Section

 

Genius me forgot to charge the video camera so all these are from my camera.

 

Brandon's Start

 

After an hour of trying to get my pictures to upload, which they didn't, I'm giving up. Videos will have to do for now until I can sit and mess with this again.

 

They ended up losing yesterday in the 9th inning 8-4. Brandon pitched 5 scoreless. Then one of our pitchers hit a guy in the head. The rule here is if you hit someone in the head you are automatically out. Also one of our guys hit a home run and when he touched home the camera guys jumped over the wall and rushed out to take pictures of him going in the dugout. It was pretty cool to me. I wasn't brave enough to try any stadium food but I did do a full 360 around to see what my options were. KFC is universal and I did see some other items that I probably won't make it the season without trying. CREPES!

 

After the game we came back here, picked up a few things at the market (I went on my own I was super nervous about it) and I fixed dinner. Brandon requested hamburgers and macaroni and cheese. Easy enough for me. After dinner Brandon taught me how to count in Japanese. I think he was starting to see how frustrated I was at not knowing anything. He picked up on it from practice because when they run drills and do squats they have to count out loud.

 

One - ichi - (ee chee/itchy)

Two - ni - (knee)

Three - san

Four - yon - (yawn)

Five - go

Six - roku- (row coo)

Seven - nana - ( banana)

Eight - hachi - (ha chi)

Nine - kyu - (Q)

Ten - jyu (jew)

 

ichi ni san yon go roku nana hachi kyu jye.

 

Don't make fun of my pronunciations.

And now you know as much Japanese as me.

 

Brandon is at work today so now I have to figure out what and where I would like to explore. Talk to you soon!

 

Lauren

 

I don't know if the videos are showing up for you but I provided the direct links underneath in case.

Retired

This guy.

Every year he does some sort of speaking engagement.

It's not that he volunteers for them, the situations just come up.

Friday he was honored by his high school as they retired his senior baseball number.

As they spoke of Brandon, his character and achievements

I found myself beaming with pride.

I wonder how I ended up with such a great guy.

I wish you all could know him because he is truly one of a kind. 

 

 

 

new stuff

It is clear, if you've been following along, that I like to change up the look and name around here. By the number of people who have asked specifically if I will be blogging our Japanese adventures, it seemed appropriate for another change. I'm sorry if this is confusing for you but I hope you'll stick around.

Brandon got some baseballs in the mail from his new team. They use a slightly different ball there. It's more sticky. Yay for fun facts. Now he has something to practice with. I can't believe how quick the days seem to pass. The 22nd is going to be here before we are ready.

Lauren

Exciting News!!

We have known since September that something was going to change in the baseball department of our lives, we just weren't sure what. The last few weeks we have been working out the offer and details of where we will be playing next season. 

We are moving to JAPAN! We will be there from February until the season ends in October. It is so exciting and a little bit scary at the same time. Knowing we are venturing overseas together will make this move seem a little less intimidating. Again I realize the importance of blogging and will for sure be documenting this new chapter in our lives.  We are so thankful for this exciting opportunity and for having both of our families support making this huge decision. 

Lauren

The Last 12

A recap of the last 12 days... 

I left Memphis on the 18th planning to return on the 26th after our we had our Ladies' Day Out booth (separate post) on the 25th. Then I was going to stay there for the remainder of the season in hopes that we would be called up in September.

Instead, on the 23rd he called and told me he was getting called up. We were ecstatic. I had been praying for something to happen for us. We just felt in a rut and not really relying on the plan that was already been laid for us.The week before we found a verse that we liked and we used it daily to remind each other there was a better plan. Jermiah 29:11. Sure enough in the days following we got to see that plan. I use the Bible app on my phone and always search quickly for uplifting verses unless there is something that I've remembered. What I hadn't told Brandon was that all the encouraging ones I found and sent him were from a job loss reading plan. It wasn't even in a time of job loss that we needed them just job struggle and they were fitting.

I was super excited because I was thinking this was for the rest of the season and that now all I needed to do was make a trip to Memphis to pack up the rest of our things, sheets, towels, kitchen stuff, etc.  He flew out to Cincinnati and I stayed put at my parents house. We were finally going to be in the same place and hoping for it the rest of the season.

He got to pitch on Saturday after eight days of rest and we'll just say it wasn't his best outing. However in that game it didn't matter they were already losing when he went in. 

Tonight he got the opportunity to pitch again,in Pittsburgh, in a game they were already losing 7-0. He pitched three innings and even got a hit. I'm thankful for the game he had today and the opportunity to redeem himself from his last outing. I know he wanted a chance to show them he deserved to be there. I think he did.

I've been counting down the days until he gets to come home to St. Louis and it was only six more. He would have been back on the 2nd. Instead I receive a text after the game tonight, "And I'm going down." 

It's always hard to understand their moves and not take it personal. Yet again I find myself rolling with the punches.  

Tomorrow I am going to meet my guy in Memphis. I'm going to go to Jerry's for a sno cone on a date with my husband. I'm going to sit and have a nice chat with my lovely baseball girls that I've become so attached to this year. I'll probably get an Icee too. I'm going to pack up our apartment and be a little sad about it. I might even cry when I tell my friends goodbye. Secretly, I'm a teeny tiny bit glad I we get to go back one more time to say good bye. I've found that my heart has actually become a bit fond of Memphis. I think it's because all the fun memories from our first year of marriage have been made there. I think how some day we will share with our kids that we lived there and show them places we remember.

As much as we love being in the big leagues, this year has humbled me and taught me how to be flexible. It has taught me to have faith in the unknown and to find joy, big or small, in each circumstance. I have felt so much love and support from the community I live in and the people that ask about Brandon and tell me they are keeping up with him. It is amazing and I'm so grateful for that. Grateful for you reading this! My family too, sheesh, they are awesome and ALWAYS comforting me. The ups and downs and moving and me coming and going, they've been great and I think learning flexibility also.

Then there is my guy. My never complaining guy. I know I brag on him all the time, but he is the rock in this marriage. Everything I say about him I don't make up. I find him comforting and trying to make me laugh when we get moved when I should be the one comforting him! I'm excited for the few days of memories he made and hopeful he will get recalled soon. Little did I know those verses I had found were already preparing us for the future. It's awesome how things like that work. 

Shameless plug: 

My mom and I have been working together on some new awesome rhinestone apparel like shown! If you're interested or needing some sparkle email us - www.threadexpressions@gmail.com 

Finally a big thank you to all our family, friends, and fans all over the place. 
Y'all are the best!! 

LD

Life Is Good

 

It's hard not to be jealous of everyone on their summer vacations. When is it time for ours? Since February baseball has been controlling our schedule and I'm just about ready for that to not be the case.  In times like these I have to remind myself of something I wrote a year ago to my husband that is still true today.

But you do have a job (thankful) that is going to provide for our future (thank you) that you love playing (bonus for you) and is fun (bonus for us) and you get to wear a uniform (bonus for me) that lets us meet lots of friends (bonus for them). 

LD

No Sugar Coating, I'm Not Willy Wonka

Yikes. I have seen an ugly side of myself this week. After parting ways with Brandon at the airport on Thursday morning I have been in quite a funk. It actually died off about Friday evening but it was ugly while it lasted. I was sad and deflated. How could such a wonderful seven days with my husband leave me feeling like this?

I try to stay positive here on the blog, not to give you the wrong idea but more so to encourage others to be positive. I truly feel I've been honest with you all about how I've been dealing with being a baseball wife and all that comes with it. I have enjoyed the travel, adventure, and the unexpected. I have found myself keeping busy with multitude of things and it hasn't seem bad at all. Until lately. I cracked. 

I was craving more time with him. Another morning to wake up next to each other and I couldn't have it. I was both angry and sad, yet helpless. This is what it looks like. The ugly side. I wanted to crawl into bed and sleep the day away. But at the same time I knew I wanted to change how I felt. I knew that I had overcome these less severe feelings I've had in the past and that I could do it again.

This negativity snowballed. Yes it gets worse. The whole time I drove from Memphis to Missouri I debated back and forth on closing LaurenDarlings. I've been blessed with this gift but I am struggling to figure out how to utilize it in the way I was created to do so. I really enjoy making and creating/sewing different things. The weeks when I am with Brandon I pretty much have to put the shop in vacation mode. I also don't want to spend all my time online networking when I can be looking at his cute face, cooking him dinner, or spending quality time with him. It has left me torn and at this point I haven't figured out how to balance and make both work. Of course he will always come first no question.

When I'm not with Brandon I spend my time sewing. As I just explained, I wasn't sure my heart was in the right place on return from this trip. What was the point, at this point, to keep making anything? I just kept buying more, and making more, and selling less. I'm not concerned with making a profit, I would just like to be able to make back what I put into my shop. But I wasn't, I'm not and that is really discouraging.

I sat at my machine for an hour before I even turned it on, maybe longer. I had a few requests from some people I knew in town asking for various items. I had told them I would try to make those products so that's what I was going to do. I have to say those projects are what helped me out of the slump. I'm grateful for them. I also apologize to those individuals who have been patiently waiting for me to fill their requests. Truth be told I want to keep all the things I made for them. But I won't. 

In the meantime Brandon knew I was in a sad place and that I was missing him terribly. He text me this. 

"P.U.S.H. through it." 

He always has been very simple but that text was exactly what I needed. For those who have never heard this, it's an acronym for pray until something happens. I can always count on him to say the right thing and encourage me when I need it most. 

You, as well as myself, will be glad to hear the slump is over. I prayed for peace and direction and I still am. I miss Brandon dearly but... I am thankful my passion to sew and create hasn't been taken from me. For a minute, I thought it was gone and I would have dealt with it. It was a great reminder to me of how much I actually love sewing.

I can't tell you for sure the direction LaurenDarlings will take. I've decided only this, I'm going to keep making product and use whatever supplies I have on hand without buying new. I will be listing and selling these various items and most likely there may be only one available. Some fabrics I have more of, others I only have a scrap piece, If you love it snatch it up. I will probably make them first available to my Instagram followers because it's my favorite and easiest form of social media. If you're not following me my username is @larnlevydickson. From there I will list them in my storenvy shop - LaurenDarlings. As always you can contact me via email - laurendarlings@gmail.com. 

I know posts that aren't happy, cheery, and full of great photos aren't fun to read but I felt the need to be honest about my feelings and whats been on my heart. My life is easily stereotyped and misconstrued to be luxurious and carefree and I just want you to remember that I'm human too. I will leave you with one happy photo from our trip last week just so we end on a good note.

LD