I've had my blog window open for over a week now waiting to jot down some memories, throw at you some pictures of our recent activities or even show you the nursery that we have been working on. But lets be honest, the only real evidence I can show you that a baby is in fact on its way would be progressive selfies of my growing belly and a few shots from a baby shower along with a laundry basket and two bags of baby necessities.(Whatever those may be, I'm still trying to figure that out).
Last week, we started a four week series on child birth and all that fun stuff and it started hitting me that in seven short weeks our tiny human will be here. While all that is good and grand and making me more excited then ever, I was feeling sad and grumpy too.
Freaking hormones.
I felt like I was drowning in so many to do lists and want to do lists before baby comes that I've been overcome with guilt. Guilt that our house isn't clean enough, that I'm being crafty enough, guilt for not cooking dinner, that not one baby item is washed or put together. Guilt for not having 100% energy to do things I normally could. It is not a fun feeling. One would think, the extra 25 pounds, frequent trips to the bathroom, and all the other cliché pregnancy joys would be a constant reminder that it is okay to slow down but for some reason, I'm guessing it has to do with being a woman, we forget and stay in overdrive.
Then, I got the sweetest, most needed advice from a friend. I'll sum it up,
"I'm causing the burden and causing the guilt. God doesn't require a Pinterest inspired baby nursery to love me or greet me with open arms."
And that my friends is a freeing thought. God has equipped Brandon and I both with what we need to be awesome parents. Probably Brandon more than me but anyway. We both know there will be times of failure, struggles, and disappointments but as long as we love on our little baby that is all that matters and I'm absolutely confident we can do that.
So its time to go Jimmy Fallon style with some thank you notes...
Thank you.... society for making me feel like a terrible parent-to-be because we aren't giving our tiny human an entire room in our house. I'm sure it will need it almost never in the first few months of it's life while we are here. In reality I'm pretty sure it's stuff will be all over the house anyway so why try to contain it.
(I guess now would be a good time to mention we are moving back to Japan for another year, actually two, so baby will only be here for a little while before we leave)
Thank you... giant box stores for providing thousands and thousands of baby products that every new mom-to-be thinks she needs but will probably actually never use. How many types of butt cream do we really need?
Thank you... Pinterest for giving me thousands of ideas for an adorable nursery, but I'm pretty sure the only thing adorable I'll want to look at is my baby and its sweet little features.
(I am not saying you shouldn't give your baby a nursery, just saying that for our nomadic lifestyle, it isn't happening. I still love seeing everyone elses' come together for their sweet babies and totally get that your baby needs its own space.)
But in all seriousness...
Thank you, Brandon for always asking what you need to do for me every single day, it's time I give in and let you help me.
Thank you sweet friend and your always perfect Godly wisdom.
And thank you, 19 day old babies for giving me a preview of what life will soon be like for us, only with just one instead of two babies. The next fifty days are going to be long but I will fill them with sleep and rest until then, and maybe a little nesting if I feel like it.
